Shot In The Snow
by Milady29
Summary: This AU takes place during/after episode 1x19. Remember the shot in the promo that never ended in the episode? Yes, the one where the tugs point a gun at Casey. What if it had ended up in the episode?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer! I don't own everything in this fic – except for some possible OC's. This story takes place during episode 1x19. Remember the shot in the promo that never ended in the episode? Yes, the one where the tugs point a gun at Casey. What if it had ended up in the episode?

…

Even though he had worked all day, he couldn't seem to find his sleep. Not wanting to watch his uniform which was hanging ready for tomorrow, he stepped from his bed, putting his clothes back on and walking outside.

Slowly, Matthew Casey walked through the cold air of Chicago in winter. In the evening, when he wasn't busy with working as a fire-fighter or contractor, he liked to take these walks in the evening, they helped him to clear his head and he liked to see the city in the evening. He took his hands out his pockets, warmed them with his own breath and saw he was near the fire station. With a deep sigh he sat down on a bench. He felt awful that the kid had died, the last few nights; he had been staring at the ceiling, not being able to fall asleep. Somehow, the dead of this kid seem to hit him harder than anything ever did before. The life as a fire-fighter mainly seemed to exist in extreme up and downs the last few weeks. One moment he had delivered a baby after a big crash on the highway, his girlfriend had left him. Maybe the baby was why the death of the kid made him even sadder, although it was always sad when they couldn't rescue somebody. He stood up again, walking past the fire station when he saw something was wrong. The worst thing was even that Kelly still was thinking he slept with Heather. He had walked out on Boden and if today wasn't bad enough, the ambulance nearly got stolen. The girls had managed themselves pretty well, but he felt awful with the idea that they were in danger. Of course, anything could happen anytime, but it just pushed his nose back on the facts. But even after that, the day had to get worse. Again those little tugs showed up and when he tried to talk some sanity in their heads, but the leader of their group had just stared at him, pissed. He didn't know if they were the one who had fired the bullets into the fire house but he also knew he shouldn't go looking for a fight, especially after Voight.

His shoes left traces in the snow that was falling and he was happy to be home. The kitchen still needed cleaning and to avoid his bedroom again he started to clean, something he usually tried to avoid. The words of Boden kept repeating in his head. The kid owned better than the fire house that was nearly falling apart. He did. The kid deserved a better fire house than one with two grown man acting childish because they were both too proud to hear and tell the truth. Hermann was the one to come up with the story. He lifted his phone out of his pocket, locking and unlocking it, not sure if he should call Kelly, tell him the truth. That he didn't sleep with Heather and that he hoped that Kelly could believe him. He could never sleep with Heather, he was to loyal to Andy to ever do that. He'd tell Kelly tomorrow, for sure. At least make up before they would show their respect to the kid.

When the last clean plate had reached its shelf, he sighed, sitting down at the kitchen table, not sure if he should try to sleep. Somehow, the bed still felt empty without Hallie next to him. Still, he laid down in bed, closing his eyes and happy that after an hour of turning and shifting, he fell asleep. Until 2 at night, when he woke up again.

Still not tired enough to fall back asleep right away, he grabbed his running shoes out of the closet, putting on his winter coat he ran outside, just a few more blocks before he would go to sleep again. But he would run himself so tired that he had to full asleep right away and sleep until his alarm would wake him. That was what he wanted. Then he would shower, put on his uniform and go to the station, as if it was a normal day.. The snow felt cold against his face and the shivers went down his spine when one of the flakes fell behind his collar, in his neck. His head was nearly empty of thoughts until he reached 95th street, where the fire house was located. Even though he didn't have the intention to run to the fire house, he did run in the direction. His iPod kept playing classis rock, but he wasn't really listening to the music when something suspicious caught his eye when he ran around the fire house, to run home. The group of tugs was trying to break in.

''You better get away from here.'' The boys moved away from the window, forming a circle around him. One of them was holding up a gun. ''Put down the gun.'' He moved his hand in his pocket, as if he had a gun. Only now he realized one more boy was standing at the window, which was opened and there was still a light burning. The guy seemed to be ready to pull the trigger. Casey jumped forward; ''No!'' Before he could even do something, a gunshot rang out from behind him and he fell forward, his face feeling the cold snow, he could see the feet running away, but he couldn't get up.

''Casey?!'' Boden's voice rang out through the silence that had been around him for seconds.

''Shit.'' He hear Boden hissing between his teeth. ''Stay with me, Matthew!''

''911, I need an ambulance at fire station 51,really fast! No, there is no ambulance available here. It is one of our own man.''

Casey closed his eyes. ''Matthew! Stay with me!'' His eyes kept opening and closing, he heard multiple voices talking. ''Did you move him?''

''No, I think he has been shot in the back. I didn't dare too.''

He closed his eyes again while he heard somebody say; ''This looks pretty bad.''

…

Kelly Severide was very early this morning, being unable to sleep, thinking about the boy. Also, he wanted to make up with Casey. He had talked about the situation with Shay, who couldn't sleep either and she also had said that he was childish for not letting Casey explain what actually happened between him and heather. Shay got out the car, looking at the rest of the teams in their uniforms. ''Where are Boden and Casey?''

''Nobody knows, they are probably just late. Of all days, they are late today.'' Hermann shook his head.

''I am sure they didn't do it on purpose.'' Severide frowned. ''Now, let's get ready to honour that kid.'' He said, looking around the room, with a strange feeling spreading through his stomach. Boden and Casey were never late.

…

NOTE: I cried again, watching episode 19 again.

So, I hope you like the idea of this AU. I know it is just a small intro but please leave a review if you are interested in reading the story, I will continue then (don't want to spam the site with chapters nobody is interested in even after the first place)

For the locations, I use the fire station which is used as station 51 as location and I know that the location which is used for Casey's house is 20 miles away from the station, but in this universe, it is close by the fire station. They never said in the story how was it was from his house to the station, anyway.

Hope you like it!


	2. Chapter 2

The snow fell down, kept lying on his pet for a few seconds, then it melted away. Kelly Severide saluted, looking straight ahead while the funeral procession passed them by. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes, but he tried not to cry. Next to him stood Boden, who had just arrived, not saying a word when they formed their formation. He had only yelled his orders when they had so salute. A few minutes after the procession had passed; they broke their formation, only to see Boden running across the street, to the group of tug that always swarmed around the neighbourhood. Severide ran after him. ''Chief, what is wrong?''

''It was you, you were the shooters!'' The boys looked at him, unimpressed.

''proof it.'' They walked away, without looking back at Boden nor Severide.

''Chief! There is nothing we can prove. The shooting was days ago, we don't have any proof.''

Boden looked to the ground with a deep sigh. ''Matthew has been shot last night. I was alone in the fire station and suddenly there was a shot. When I ran outside they were running away and…''

He looked across the street; to the other firemen who were parking the vehicles back inside.

''Matthew was down, this is bad, Kelly.''

Severide opened his mouth to say something but no sound came out of his mouth. ''H-how is he?'' He finally managed to stutter. Boden shook his head.

''The bullet hit him the spine, they don't know the damage yet.''

Kelly shook his head. ''No, no, this can't be true.''

Boden nodded. ''I am afraid it is.'' They crossed the street together, joined the other firemen on their way to the common room. The girl were called away and jumped in the ambulance, drove away.

''Casey doesn't take of his phone.'' Hermann mumbled to Otis.

''Listen up!'' Boden yelled, hearing what Hermann said. ''Lieutenant Casey is not late; he is in the hospital at this moment. Yesterday night, he was shot close to the station.''

The whole common room fell silent in shock. ''Why..didn't you tell us?'' Mumbled Hermann, looking to the floor.

''Because I am sure Casey wanted us to honour the kid first. Also, I wanted to wait until there was clarification about his situation.''

''If he is in the hospital, then why are we sitting here?'' Otis frowned. ''We always wait at the hospital when one of us is in danger. ''

The other man nodded, agreeing with him.

In the end, fire station 51 was a family.

…..

''I hate it to be sitting here.'' Hermann mumbled, looking up to the ceiling of the familiar hospital waiting room, Otis shook his head. ''You know, we have been sitting here for you a few months ago for hours.'' Hermann looked annoyed. ''That is not what I meant, I just meant that always when we sit here, something crappy happened.''

''Gentleman, be nice.'''Mouch said to them, looking up from his Japanese magazine. Severide stood up next to Mouch, walking outside, back in the snow. They were just waiting for twenty minutes since Boden had walked away for an update, but it seemed to take an eternity. He walked back inside, grabbing a cup of coffee and felt a shock when he saw Boden in the waiting room.

''Kelly, come with me.'' He handed the coffee to Mouch and ran after Boden, who already walked back into the long corridor.

''He is awake, stable.'' Severide nodded. ''That is good, right?''

''It is, but I think he needs some support now and I think you are the best person to support him.''

''I don't think so chief. We haven't talked since we stormed out of your office.''

''I am sure he wants you to be the person with him right now. Go in there. I will update his team.''

Severide hesitated for a moment before stepping in the room. He was scared, for the first time he felt like he was actually scared.

''Hey.'' Was all he could say. His fellow lieutenant was lying at his side, staring to the wall, his eyes red and another tear dripped down his cheek.

'''Hey.'' He mumbled back, a little shocked, whipping away the tears.

''I guess I don't have to ask how you are feeling. I can guess that you are in pain.'' Kelly said, nervous, sitting down next to the bed.

He nodded. ''But I wish I could feel pain through the whole of my body.'' He bit his lip. ''I can't feel anything below the place where the bullet hit my spine.''

''Shit, Matthew, shit.''

''Shit is one way to put it.'' Matthew grinned gloomy, trying to contain his tears.

''I know, it is more than just shit….is the damage permanent?''

''Probably, they aren't sure yet, since they are still draining my back, hoping it is just swelling. But the chance seems to be nihil.''

''Shit.''

''Shit happens.''

Severide frowned. ''This isn't just shit happening, these boys, why were they even near the station in the first place?''

''Kind of my own fault, I told them to stay away from us after the shooting. I couldn't sleep at night, decided to run for a while, to tire myself, then I saw them breaking in. I just remember that they surrounded me and one wanted to shoot somebody through the window, that is all.''

''Boden was inside. You saved his ass, if that is any comfort to you.''

Matthew nodded, again very gloomy.

''These boys don't know what is coming to them. They shot an innocent man, whom also is my friend. ''

''Thank you Kelly.''

''Just…try to rest for now, okay?''

Matthew nodded, smiled at Kelly. When his fellow lieutenant walked out of door his smile changed to crying.

…

NOTE: I am so sorry it is so short but I have an unexpected party tonight and after all the reviews I didn't want to keep it from you, although it short. I promise that the next chapter will be at least 2500 words long to make it up!

Anyway, thanks again for all the reviews, I am really glad you like the idea and I hope you won't keep the review box lonely for this chapter, although it is so short.


	3. Chapter 3

Opening his eyes, he wanted to fall back asleep, but he couldn't. Reality came back to him and he realized he was still in the same hell he was in yesterday. His shoulder was hurting, probably from spending the whole night on his side. His back also hurt way more than yesterday and he wondered if they had reduced the morphine. He closed his eyes again, thinking about everything that had happened, although he still was unable to believe it. What if he didn't regain feeling in his legs? He would never be a fire fighter again. The door opened and he peeked through his eyelashes. Severide put down a bag in the corner of the room, ready to walk out again.

''Hey'' Severide turned around, surprised.

''hey, sorry, I didn't want to wake you this early.

''Don't worry, I was awake.'' Severide sat down next to his bedside again.

''How are you feeling today?'' Severide said, a little awkward.

''A little better.'' Casey lied, hoping to make Severide a bit more comfortable, to make him stay with him a little longer.

''That is great to hear.'' He smiled, not sure if he should believe what Casey said. ''I hope you aren't mad at Boden for giving me and Shay the spare key of your House, the one from your office, he didn't know who else could get your things for you. I also hope we took the right things.'' Only when he had to devide what was important to take for Casey, he had realized that he didn't even know his colleague so well at all.

''Thank you very much.''

Severide gave him a nervous smile. ''No problem.'' He stood up. ''I should go to the station, I hadn't expected you to be awake, sorry.''

Casey nodded. ''It is fine, please tell everybody I said hi.'' Severide nodded. For a second, Casey doubted if he could ask Severide if he could come again tonight, but he didn't dare to.

''Bye.'' Severide raised his hand, walked out.

…

''Severide!'' He had just walked into the station when Boden walked after him. ''Did you bring Casey his stuff this morning?'' Severide nodded. ''He was awake, felt a little better, at least that was what he said, he still seemed very gloomy.''

Boden nodded. ''Was there anybody else with him?'' Severide shook his head. ''I don't think so.''

Boden nodded, deep lines around his mouth. ''Poor boy, he shouldn't be alone right now.''

''I was thinking of visiting him tonight again.'' No, he hadn't, but Boden was right, he shouldn't be alone in his situation. Boden nodded. ''I know you are loyal. Thank you, Severide.''

Honestly, he had no idea who else would go to visit Casey. Sure, Shay would come with him if he asked her, Dawson maybe, Hermann and Otis maybe, but Casey didn't have best friends in the station, like he had Shay. Somehow, Casey had always been the guy that everybody liked, but didn't have real best friends. Sure, people liked him, when they went out for a beer, he never stood alone and people liked to talk with him, but it were always shallow conversations about sports and the news, but as soon as everybody went home, nobody really wondered what he would be doing when he got home, they would see him on the job again. He was never the person to pull the attention to him; he even tried to avoid it. It had been five months before they had known he was also a contractor in his free time, when somebody had noticed it was on his pick-up. He would have never told them himself, just because he never told something about himself and everybody knew him that way. Only when he had entered his house yesterday, he found out that Casey was really into music. At least, there were several posters hanging around his house, even though they were in less striking corners and when he had been packing in shirts for Casey, he had seen the large pile of T-shirts with bands on them and it had surprised him, since Casey always seemed to be walking around in plain t-shirts. The biggest surprise had been the bass-guitar standing in the small gap between his closet and the bedroom wall.

His thoughts were suddenly intermittent by the alarm and he rushed towards his squad when he heard the call.

…..

It seemed so strange, Hermann leading the group instead of Casey. He looked at the family to whom the house on fire and was so glad they got them all out. Shay and Dawson tookt he son with them to the hospital, just to make sure he was fine, since he had been breathing a lot of smoke before they got him out.

After Shay and Severide finished their shift they went to the hospital. After buying the biggest bunch of flowers they could find, they walked through the corridor.

''How do you think he is?''

Severide shrugged. ''He didn't say very much, except it doesn't look very roseate for him.'' Shay swallowed loud next to him. Carefully, they peeked in the room, afraid to startle or wake Casey.

''Shay?'' He seemed surprised to see her when she walked in first, but also happy. ''What are you doing here?''

''Making sure you got the hi returned to you from this morning.'' Shay smiled, trying to stay positive. Severide followed him inside. ''Making sure they dressed you up in your own clothes instead of the hospital dress.'' He said, pointing at the Led Zeppelin T-shirt that was around his upper body now, which could be well seen now he was laying on back.

''Can you manage lying on your back? Doesn't it hurt?'' Casey smiled. ''Not really, they give me enough morphine to manage.'' Severide sat down at the chair he had been sitting this morning as well, while Shay grabbed the other chair of the corner.

''Did you regain any feeling?'' Severide finally asked after a few silent seconds.

Casey shook his head, looking at his own legs under the blanket. ''No, but they also told me..'' He bit his lip. '''That I shouldn't really hope to be walking again.'' He said, looking at Severide, his blue eyes slowly filling with tears. ''Don't give up hope yet.'' Shay said, laying her hand on his. ''I am sure it will all be fine.''

Casey nodded, didn't really seem to believe it. ''Thank you for picking up my stuff, by the way. I am really happy you did.'' He said then.

''I took this for you, before I forget. I am not sure if you like the music on here, but I figured you would be bored in here.'' Shay handed him her IPod. Casey carefully smiled; knowing his own hadn't survived the snow and the fall.

''I saw the posters in your house and I guess there are at least a few songs on there you like.'' Shay said, hoping he would find some comfort in the music.

''I love the Scorpions!'' He smiled. ''Thank you very much Shay.''

Severide smiled, glad Shay had thought about it, since they had just found out that he liked music.

''Did anybody else visit you yet?'' Severide asked, hoping somebody else already had. Just like Boden, he really didn't like the idea of Casey having to deal alone with all of this.

''Not yet, but somebody is coming to visit me tomorrow.''

''Who?''

His face got a little red. ''Hallie. She asked if she could come and I figured it would be nice to have somebody over. ''

Severide nodded. ''Sure.'' But honestly, he wasn't so sure, somehow he got the itches when people suddenly met up with their exes again, while he had actually done that before too.

''I am going to get something to drink. Do you want something?'' Shay said, looking up to the boys.

Casey shook his head. ''A coffee.'' Severide smiled. ''Why do I even asked.'' Shay rolled with her eyes and walked away.

''Severide?''

''You can say Kelly, remember?''

Casey nodded, not really reacting to what Severide said. ''The doctors told me today that my spinal cord is damaged. I just didn't want to tell you with Shay here. I am not going to walk again.'' He said, not looking at Severide, but at his own fingers, which was were nervously plucking the blanket. '' I mean, I tried to say it very subtle, but I don't want to shatter her hopes, but I shouldn't have any hope left.'' He said, gloomy, but not crying this time. Kelly figured he had been crying the whole afternoon.

''I am sorry. I know I should tell you to keep hope, but I know you like to be realistic. I am sorry, Matthew.''

Casey nodded, still looking at the blankets. ''Thank you.''

''Do you want me to tell the station? Or do you want Boden to tell?''

''I prefer them not knowing at all yet. I already called Boden right before you came. I just don't want the rest the know yet.''

Severide nodded. ''Promised. But promise me that you will call me if you need somebody to talk to, or even somebody to yell to.''

Casey finally looked up to him. ''Are you sure?''

''Of course, why shouldn't I want you to call me?''

Casey shrugged his face immediately in pain as it hurt the wound on his back. . ''Don't know, guess I always have been looking up to you.''

Severide opened his mouth. ''Tell me that that was a joke. Why would you look up to me?''

''I don't know exactly why, I just always have been. ''

''Never do that again. We are equal, you are even a damn lot smarter than me.''

''And you are a damn lot better at social life….and girls.''

''But you have been engaged and I have one night stands.''

''But we broke u and she still was my high school sweetheart. When a girl talks to me I nearly crap in my pants.'' He chuckled.

''And when a girl says the word 'relationship' I run away, screaming with my arms up in the air.'' Severide said with a big smile. At least, with most girls that was the truth.

''But still we don't fear running into burning, collapsing buildings.'' Casey said with an actual smile on his face.

''Aren't we fire fighters a strange bunch.''

''I can't even imagine that I don't belong in fire house 51 anymore.'' Casey mumbled, his smile disappearing instantly.

''Don't imagine, you will always belong in fire house 51. You will always remain a fire fighter.'' Severide laid his hand on Casey's shoulder, hoping his words would reach him.

Casey looked down at his legs again, silent. ''Thank you'' he mumbled then, slowly.

''For what?''

''For being here for me. ''

Shay came walking in, realized she wandered into a conversation the two men wanted to have on their own. ''I will wait in the car. Hope to see you soon again, Matt!'' She handed Kelly his coffee, kissed Casey on his cheek and walked out.

''Matt, I just hope you realize you will always stay a fire fighter for station 51. You saved Boden's life! I know it must sound very crappy at this moment, but you are a hero, even if you might nog feel like one.''

Casey was silent again, still only moving his fingers.

''Do you want me to come back tomorrow? I guess you are tired.'' Severide asked, standing up. Casey nodded. When Kelly walked to door he finally looked up again. ''Thank you, Kelly.''

Severide turned around, smiled at Casey. ''See you tomorrow.''

….

NOTE: The start of their real friendship?

Awwww I am sorry that I didn't keep my promise of 2500 words. The chapter was 1950 words. Please have mercy, I only slept 1 hour last night and after that I had a 9 hour long work day, please have mercy! I already spend an hour sleeping on my keyboard, but I was so happy with the reviews I just wanted to finish the chapter. I hope it didn't make my already bad english even more worse.

So, I hope you like this chapter! Thanks again for all the reviews. I hope you can keep the reviews coming; they really encourage me and make me really really happy, especially when I read them at work! I try to respond to them as much as I can, but I haven't really had time for it yet, but I promise I will, because I really appreciate that you take the effort to review!

The next chapters will of course also give more information and so about his injury and the actual shooting, what will happen to the shooters, what is happening in fire house 51 etc, so I hope you keep on reading!

x


	4. Chapter 4

''Does it hurt?'' Severide said, not letting go the upper arm of Casey, afraid he was going to faint. Casey was sitting up in the bed, supporting him with his own arms. ''Yeah, it hurts.'' He panted than, laying back down. Severide held up the cup of water for Casey, but he was staring out of the window, wandering off with his thoughts.

''I wish the bullet had hit me in the head.'' He suddenly mumbled, gritting his teeth.

''Hallie wasn't nice to you?'' Casey looked back at him, frowned. ''It has nothing to do with Hallie, she was really nice to me, I just wish I was dead instead of paralyzed.''

Severide opened his mouth, shaking his head; ''How can you say that? Why would you rather be dead? Nothing changes.''

''Everything changes! I am never going to walk again, in case you hadn't realized!'' Casey yelled.

Severide slapped his hand on his upper leg. ''Finally you show some actual emotion, let' stick with that.'' Casey wanted to yell again, but was surprised by what Severide had said. ''What?'' He said, surprised.

''I know you are angry, and you have the right to be, but as long as you just keep mumbling and calm, that anger really isn't going to get out.''

''Well, I did have a way to lose my anger and temper, which was being a fire fighter. I don't think I am in the possibility to do that. But I am not going to yell at you.''

''Find another way, as long as the boys don't get what they deserve, I know you are one hell of an angry person.''

''Have you seen the boys?'' Casey said, calm now.

''We have seen them walking around as always; Hermann said he was going to kick them with their faces into the sewer, Otis and Mouch had to hold him. But don't worry, those guys are really going to get what they deserve.''

''I bet Hermann wouldn't have done it. But I know, they won't get away with this. The police has been here to question me multiple times and they also said that they couldn't get away, that I am standing very strong – so to speak – since they found the gun.''

Of course, of all people, it had been Antonio questioning him. He had to give Antonio's regards to Dawson, but he hadn't heard anything of Dawson yet. His crew kept texting him the whole day, as Shay did and Severide had kept his promise to visit him again today, chief Boden had called him earlier this afternoon, but Dawson hadn't contacted him in anyway, which somehow hurt him, since he trusted her.

''Matt, your phone is ringing.''

''Oh, yeah'' he said, while he had been a little absent with is mind. He grabbed it from the blanket, and said yes, named his room number. ''Boden, he is coming up now.'' He said to Severide, laying his phone down with shaking hands. ''Do you think I have to tell him?''

Severide thought for a moment. ''You should. I guess you want to tell him alone, so I will see you next time.'' Casey nodded. ''Thanks again, Kelly. Hope to see you soon again.''

''Make that tomorrow.'' He smiled while walking out. Although Matthew was silent most of the time, that he even seemed nervous sometimes, he really liked spending his time with Matthew. He walked in the hallway, seeing Boden walking up to him. ''How is he?'' Severide shrugged. ''Go inside and ask him yourself, he probably knows better how is.''

It wasn't meant as an insult to Boden, or rude, but he was done with people asking how Matthew was, instead of asking them himself, they kept coming to him and it wasn't that he didn't want to be a messenger, but he was sure Matthew liked to talk to people himself, even if it was to feel less alone.

…

''Hi Chief.''

''Hey Casey.''

It seemed strange, seeing his chief in casual clothes.

''First of all, how are you?''

''I am…okay.'' He swallowed. ''Chief, I have had some bad news.''

''What is it?''

''The damage is permanent. '' Casey looked down to the blanket, biting his lip. he had no idea what he had to do or say now. Boden just laid his on his shoulder, not saying anything.

''I am sorry, Casey. I am sorry you had to be running there. That I had to be inside.''

''I am sorry I didn't tell you this morning, but I couldn't.''

''I understand…what now?''

Casey looked back at him; ''I can't sit up right now because of the wound in my back, when I can I have to go in rehabilitation, afterwards I just have to sit out my life.

''Why sit out your life?''

''There is nothing left for me to be if I am not a fire fighter.'' He didn't even know why he said it is so honest for Boden, he hadn't even dared to say that to Severide, afraid Severide would think that he was weak, which was how he felt about it all.

''Don't feel that way, even if you might feel useless, you are not, you will never be. ''

''But I feel I am.'' He tried to keep his emotions inside, but the long day had tired him out and the pain in his back was killing him. He felt ashamed as the tears rolled down his cheeks. ''Calm down, it is okay.'' Boden mumbled, rubbing his over Casey's shoulder. Boden looked to floor, feeling awful. Maybe, if he hadn't been inside the station so late, Matt wouldn't have interfered. No, he always would have interfered, wetter there was a light burning in the station or not. After a few minutes the sobbing went silent and when he looked up, he saw Casey asleep. Slowly he stood up, pulling the blanket a little higher, so it covered Casey's arms and walked out, whispering; ''I am so sorry, kid.''

…

''It is actually funny that you think you have choice.'' Severide pushed the wheelchair to the elevator.

''But I look awful. I have been lying in bed for nearly two weeks, I don't want everybody to see me like this.''

''I think you look flawless. Especially for the opening of Molly's, it is just a pub. Plus we should celebrate you are leaving the hospital tomorrow.''

Casey turned his head as far as he could. ''Yeah, but I still have to rehabilitate. Don't feel up to celebrating that. ''

Severide rolled his eyes overly dramatic and pushed at the button to the entrance floor.

''Your pessimistic remarks are just like gassing up my car, don't like it but can't get around it.''

''You could take the bus, just like leaving me alone.''

''You'd miss me.''

''Oh shut up.''

Severide pushed him out of the elevator, smiling. They had reached the state of friendship in which they could make jokes about each other. Except for the evenings Hallie had been here, he had been here every evening, laughing about their own dry humour and telling him what was happening in fire house 51. When they reached the entrance Casey suddenly stopped wheels, Severide bumping into the wheelchair. ''Did you invite her?'' He looked at Hallie, who didn't look at them, but at her phone.

''You are a pretty prince and all, but I am looking for a pretty princess. Now, be a knight.'' Severide pushed his wheelchair forward and Casey stopped it, hesitating for a moment, wheeling to Hallie then. ''H-hey Hallie'' He stuttered, smiling at her. ''Matt! How are you feeling?''

''I am good.'' He smiled. ''You look great.''

''So do you. Didn't know you still had this one.'' She smiled, pointing at the Bruce Springsteen shirt he was wearing under his jacket. ''I didn't chose it.'' He knew she didn't like his band shirts, but there weren't any plain left in the shirts Severide had taken for him and he didn't want to ask him to go get more shirts.

''Well, let's go, before we are late.'' She started pushing the wheelchair, he was happy she did, although he felt helpless, but after two weeks in bed, he felt pretty weak instead of rested. ''How are we going to get there?'' He asked then. ''I can't get in the car myself. '''While he said that, he felt a kind of pain going to through his chest, which he felt every time he realised he couldn't do. ''I will help you in.'' He looked to the ground, embarrassed. He felt stupid that Hallie had to help him the car, while he was the one that should be protecting her. He wasn't even sure what their relationship was at the moment. They had only talked about her time in South Africa, why she had returned and about their breakup, but nothing was said about why they were even seeing each other again. When they reached Hallie's car.

''Are you sure you can help me in?'' He looked up to Hallie, didn't want to be a burden to her.

''I am a doctor, remember?'' She put the wheelchair on the break, opening the car door and carefully lifting him up. ''Does it hurt?'' She asked, not sure if she hurt his scar. ''No, it doesn't.'' He said when he sat in the chair sideways, trying to pull his legs in. It took him all the time until Hallie sat down in the car after she had put the wheelchair in the back.

''So, are you exited to see the other guys again?''

''I am not exited, nervous.'' He looked at here, shocked that he just said it out loud.

''Why are you nervous?'' She frowned at him, looking back at the road immediately.

''I just…I am afraid for their reaction.'' He said, not even knowing exactly why he was so nervous. He was scared that everybody would act weird, or that he had to talk about the shooting all night long. He didn't feel comfortable in his own body, as he couldn't feel most of it.

''Matthew, don't be nervous, just have a great evening.''

''Thank you for taking me with you.''

''My pleasure.'' She smiled at him and it immediately reminded him to the time they were dating in high school.

…..

''Casey!'' Otis was the first one who spotted him, suddenly his whole crew was standing around and he was giving hands and high-fives all around. There was a beer handed to him, which he passed to Hermann, not drinking alcohol. ''So happy to see you.'' He finally saw Dawson, standing behind the bar, looking at him.

''Finally out of the hospital?'' Hermann asked while they went to the bar.

''Yes, I am going to the rehabilitation centre tomorrow.''

''The one on 87th street?'' Casey nodded.

''What do you want for drink?'' Dawson bow forward at the bar. ''Just a coke.'' She didn't even look at him, avoided his eyes when she put down the glass. ''Still had to give you Antonio's regards, but I since I hadn't heard anything from you, I didn't want to bother you with it.'' She didn't react, forming an unpleasant silence.

''The pub looks great, congratulations on the opening.'' He said then, as Otis also walked behind the bar, to all three at once. ''Thank you. Glad to have you here.'' Otis smiled, while Dawson just nodded. ''Did I kill your dog or something?'' He suddenly frowned, as he wanted to know what he had done wrong to Dawson. She put the glass she was cleaning on the bar with a loud sound and pushed the cloth in Otis hands, walking away.

''She broke up with Mills, he blamed her for having feelings for you.'' Sure, he was absolutely craving for a love triangle in the situation he was in.

''Is she blaming me for it now?''

''She is woman.'' Otis shrugged. ''I can give you the complete encyclopaedia on understanding woman, but I would need to borrow your pick-up.''

''It is for sale, in case you want it.'' He said trying to smile.

''Why are you selling it? You love that pick up!'' Hermann burst out next to him.

Casey spread his arms, looking at his legs. ''It costs more to get hand controls built in that pick-up than to sell it and buy a new vehicle.''

''I am sorry, Casey, Shay said that your legs could still-'' Hermann muttered, before being interrupted by Otis.

''Sold. Just tell me the price.'' Otis said, holding out his hand.

''Otis, you don't have to-''

''I want it, just name the price.''

''You can look at it first, make an offer.'' Otis nodded. ''That's okay.''

Casey took a sip of his coke, looked around for Hallie, who was talking to Shay and Severide, whom were sitting at a table in the corner.

''So, are you guys back together?''

Casey shrugged. ''I don't know, I like being with her, but I don't think she feels the same, I can't imagine us getting back together.''

''She can't keep her eyes off you, trust me. She has been looking at you nearly all the time since you arrived, even you can't see it.'' Otis said, who could see her clearly sitting at the table.

The door opened and Casey looked at the group walking in. His heart seemed to skip a beat when he saw who was walking in front of Antonio and some other cops. Voight. He had a hard time turning the wheelchair so that he faced Voight, looking up to the man, immediately ready to defence himself.

''Mr. Casey, hadn't expected to see you outside of the hospital.''

''Hadn't expected to see you out of jail.''

''I am currently working on your case. Wetter you like it or not.''

''Must hurt to see somebody paralyzed and that it wasn't your son.''

Hallie came walking up to them together with Severide and Shay. ''Calm down Casey, he is really helping you, they are going to get those boys soon.'' Herman said, laying his hands on Casey's shoulders.

''He is right, I am really just working on your case.'' Voight said, raising his hands.

''Do you have any idea when the boys finally will get arrested?''

''If we knew where they are, we would have them by now. But they haven't been seen for the last eight days. We are looking for them.''

''Good, I hope they will be found soon.'' Voight nodded. ''I am sure we will, the best man are on it.''

…..

The rain was dripping on the windshield when they drove back to the hospital. ''Thank you for taking me out tonight.'' Hallie parked the car. ''You are welcome'' She smiled at him, slowly he bend her way, wanting to kiss her. But she backed away, turning her head away. ''Matt, no.''

He opened the car door, wanting to step out, sighing deep. ''Could you at least help me out of the car?''

She stepped out the car, helping him back in the wheelchair, dry under the roof by the entrance.

''I am sorry Matt.'' She said, when he turned around without saying something to her.

''Matt! Wait, I am sorry! I just…don't think we can build a life together. Being a doctor is my profession, I don't know if I can do it in a relationship.''

''Fine.'' He said gloomy, going inside. When he finally arrived in his room he was exhausted, could just manage pulling himself on the bed. How could he even have hoped that Hallie would come back to him?

NOTE: Will they find the boys? How will it end with Hallie? Hope you are looking forward.

Long chapter this time, I hope you like it. I know the opening of the bar takes place in the series AFTER Hallie passes, but not in my universe, although I keep following the story line here and there.

Please, please, please review. It really makes me happy and encourages me, which makes me write faster and more! I could really use some feedback!

Thanks for reading!

x


	5. Chapter 5

''How did it go with Hallie last night?''

''Don't ask..'' Casey looked while Severide threw his stuff in the trunk of the black car. Severide looked back to him. ''Sorry, I thought she was still into you. What happened?''

''I said, don't ask.''

''Fine, fine.'' Severide closed the trunk. ''So, you want to go to your house first to pick up some more stuff.'' Casey nodded, waiting for Severide to help him the car.

''Have to pack my house completely in a few months, can't live there anymore.''

''That is a shame, I remember that you just moved there only a years ago. ''

''I know, but I am looking for an apartment now.''

He liked seeing his street, it seemed to long ago that he had been there, while it were two weeks in total. Every house was the same, but his House was the only one where the curtains were closed. ''Feels good to be home.'' Some of the neighbour kids were playing on the edge of the street with a ball and Severide stopped suddenly. ''It is this one, right?'' Casey nodded. ''I wasn't sure, I mean, they are all the same.''

''yeah, it is this one.'' Severide parked and helped him out of the car. He wheeled to his pick-up, touching the metal, knowing he was had to say goodbye to the pick-up sooner than he wished, he had always imagines himself still driving the thing when he was an old man, Hallie cursing that he could never say goodbye to that thing. Severide stood behind him; ''I am sorry you had to sell it.''

''It was getting old anyway.'' He said, picking the stickers of with his nails.

''Do you want to go inside? It's cold.'' Casey nodded, crumbling the sticker in his hand. ''Let' go inside.'' At the stairs, Severide lifted him up, carrying up the stairs and waited for Matthew to open the door. One of the older neighbours kids came running up the stairs with the wheelchair. ''There.''

Without saying anything else he just walked away without saying anything else. Casey smiled. ''At least some kids are still attentive.'' Severide grinned. ''A lot are, just never the ones that you notice, because the ones that you notice usually annoy you.''

Casey wheeled to the living room, opening the curtain, looking around. His eyes reached the small picture frame on the dresser, which had always been there even though he already broken up with Hallie before. He looked at a picture from their high school, where they were sitting together on the stands to watch a game. ''You were in a band?'' Casey turned around. ''Yeah, I played the bass for some time in a rock band.'' He blushed as Severide as looking at a picture with the band. It had been two years ago when he had stopped with the band, to spend more time with Hallie. Severide walked up to him and looked at the picture in his hands.

''Be honest Matthew, what happened last night between you and Hallie.''

''Nothing.''

''You can better tell me now, I will find out anyway.''

''Kelly, it is none of your business.''

''I will find out, since she is parking her car right there.''

Casey looked out of the window. ''What does she want?'' Hallie stepped out of the car, walking up to the front door. ''Do you want me to let her in?'' Severide asked, frowning while looking at her walking up the stairs.

''I want to know what she is doing here.'' Severide walked to the door, opened it.

''What are you doing here?''

''Is Matt here? I need to give something to him.'' She moved her hand through her hair a little nervous. Severide stepped aside, letting her in.

''Matt, I am sorry about last night.'' She walked up to him. ''I know that what I said maybe was a little mean.''

Casey didn't react while Severide sneaked into the kitchen, giving the two in the living room a little more privacy.''

''Just, why won't you give us a chance? Do you think I want to be helpless?'' He asked then, calmly looking up to him.

''Of course not! And I don't think you are going to be helpless, I am sure you can manage.''

''Then, why don't you give us a chance? I still love you and I thought you did too, you were the one coming back to me.''

''I don't know!'' Hallie yelled, tears in her eyes and biting on her lip. 'Do you think it is easy for me to see you like this?''

''That is the biggest shit I have ever heard, Hallie, I haven't changed, I am still the same person inside and I thought that you, out of all people, would realize that!''

''Matt, I can't do this.''

''Why not?'' He asked desperately. ''Why won't you try?''

''Why did you have to run past the fire station? Why didn't you just let the boys do what they were doing? Why do you always need to be the hero? You knew that those boys were dangerous.''

''Hallie, just go.'' He said, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

''Matthew, I-''

''Go!'' He said again.

''Matthew,please, I-''

''Hallie, I said that you should go, please go. I thought that you out of all people wouldn't think different of me, wheelchair or not.''

She grabbed something out of her pocket and threw it onto his lap. With a loud smack she closed the front door. Casey grabbed the ring lying on his leg, realizing she still had it after they broke up. He threw together with the picture, that was still in his other hand, on the floor and wheeled to the kitchen, to see Severide playing with his phone, headphones in.

''You don't look happy.'' He said looking worried at his friend. ''Tell bro Kelly what happened between you and Hallie.''

''She rejected me two times in 24 hours.''

''Why? I thought she loved you. I thought you had rejected her last night.''

''She doesn't like my new situation.''

''Like you had a choice.'' Severide said, indignant. Casey shrugged. ''I know, but I can't force her to be with me, I also don't want her to be with me out of pity.

Severide stood up, looking at his friend leaning against the kitchen table with his chest, staring out of the window. ''Don't you dare to feel bad about her, she doesn't deserve it. You deserve better.''

Casey shrugged. ''I don't know. I don't know if I will ever feel the same for anybody else.''

''You will, what do you need from upstairs? Or do you want me to carry you upstairs?''

He wasn't sure if he should, so he was sure it was better to ask, since Matthew really seemed to hate it when he needed to be carried. Even when he had to help him out the car, Matthew immediately was short and rude.

''Just grab everything out of my closet, I will sort it out here.''

Severide nodded, walking up the stairs. Casey wheeled to the fridge, starting to sort all the groceries in his fridge, throwing everything on the counter and the ground that was past the expiration date, gagging when he grabbed one of the glass bottles of milk. He knew he should have asked if somebody could clean out his fridge, but somehow he had forgotten about it. Severide came running down the stairs again, holding a suitcase, flipping open at the table. ''I got everything I could find.'' Casey nodded, closing the fridge and going back to the table. ''Can you still manage?'' Severide asked, knowing Matthew still had a lot of trouble with sitting up for so long. ''Don't worry, I can.''

Firmly he started to throw out several clothes. ''Woah wait, are you throwing out all of your work shirts?'' Casey nodded, not looking up. ''But you could still use them as T-shirts, right? I thought you needed a lot of them.''

''I don't want them anymore.''

''I think you should keep them.''

''I think you should shut up. It are my T-shirts and I don't want them anymore.''

Severide sat down on the table, shutting the cover of the suitcase after pushing Matthews hands out.

''I don't want you to throw them all out and away. You are going to regret that, I am going to repeat it till eternity. Once a fire fighter, always a fire fighter. Wetter you are still in station or not.''

''Fine.'' Matthew wanted to grab the T-shirts from the ground, nearly losing the balance in his weak abdomen muscles. Severide reached out, pulling him backwards and grabbing the clothes from the floor.

''Thank you.'' He mumbled grimly, throwing the suitcase open, cramming in the shirts without folding them and throwing it shut again. ''Let's go.''

''You don't want anything else?''

''What would I want as in else?''

''I don't know…I thought that maybe you wanted to take some pictures or something. You are going to be there for months. But if you need something later I can alwa-''

''I don't want to take any pictures.''

Severide frowned; ''Are you sure?''

''I am.'' Casey said, looking up to him with a restrained trait around his mouth.

Severide sat down at the table again, facing him.

''I am worried about you and I know I am not the only one. I know this is really tough and I am not going to say that the fight will be easy, because it won't be. You will have to start living a whole different life, but please, don't give up. Don't become bitter and emotionless.''

Casey nodded, pulling his mouth in fake laugh, his eyes filling with tears.

''I mean, if you do want to talk with me, I know we never have really been friends before. Even when Andy was still with us, I just hope that you feel the same as me. That we have become friends the last two weeks.''

Casey smiled, sincere now. ''I was afraid that you were just sticking around out of pity.''

Severide shook his head. ''No, I would miss your great sarcastic comments on daytime TV.''

Casey smiled again. ''I'd miss you making me smile even when feel hate for the whole world.''

Severide grabbed his suitcase from the table. ''So, do you want to pack something else now you can think again?'' Even though he had expected Matthew to take more stuff now, Matthew still shook his head.

''No, I don't need anything else.''

Severide nodded, pulling the suitcase from the table and walking down the stairs, throwing it in the trunk of the car by Casey's bag, walking back to pick up his friend.

When they drove away, Casey turned around as far as he could to catch a glimpse of his house until the last second. ''I still don't like selling it.'' He sighed.

''I'd offer you the room that is still free in the apartment with me and Shay for the time until you have sold it and bought a new one, but….it has two floors.''

''Thank you, but that won't be helpful.'' He smiled. ''Or you would have to carry me up the stairs every time''

''Sometimes, I have a drunk Shay for that.'' Severide laughed, trying to keep the conversation light.

''Do you want to go to the rehabilitation centre right away or do you want to have lunch first?'' He added.

''Lunch, I would love to eat some fast food after all the hospital food and the healthy food I will still get for the upcoming months.''

Severide nodded. ''Fine, but I guess you can still go outside sometimes to have lunch and dinner.'' Severide parked the car at the parking spot of a dinner. ''Here?'' Casey nodded. ''Food is fine.''

….

''I am sorry to ask, but did you still have no contact with your family?'' Severide said, after they ordered and their food arrived. Casey looked up. ''My dad is dead, I lost contact with my mom and I had nearly no contact with my family anyway. They don't even know, at least, I didn't call them. Hallie was the one who was called since she still was on the list as my first contact person.''

''You still don't want to have contact with them?''

''No, my sister will know if she contacts me, but she never does. She must have sene it on the news, but didn't contact me.''

Severide shrugged. ''They didn't say your name. But she should know by the number of the fire house.''

Casey shoved his fries to Severide. ''I am full, but no, she doesn't know the station number I guess, but I think it is better if she doesn't.''

''Are you sure you don't want any more fries? Thought you were hungry. But it is your sister and I guess I can't change your mind.''

''No, you can't, thank you for respecting that, and no, I don't want any more frie-'' His sentence was interrupted by his phone ringing, showing Voights number.

''Casey speaking here.''

''This is detective Voight. One of the boys is at the station, he confessed the shooting.''

''Did you arrest him?'' He said, surprised, as the message came so suddenly.

''No, he came here himself.''

…

''Why did you walk in here, does the rest know you are here?''

Casey was looking at the boys expression from after the glass while Voight was questioning him. Severide was sitting next to him, looking at the boy with an angry expression on his face.

''Out of guilt, the rest doesn't know I am here.''

Severide's angry expression seemed to loosen up.

''Why doesn't the rest know you are here?''

''I was walking around the neighbourhood, as I am doing every day, to see what is happening and to tell to the rest, when I walked past mister Casey's house and saw that the other man had to carry him up the stairs. I can't live with the idea that our group was responsible for that.''

''He must be lying.'' Severide whispered.

''I don't think he is. I think he was the guy who carried the wheelchair up the stairs.'' Casey whispered back, his mouth opened, seemingly surprised.

''Have you fired the gun?'' Voight asked.

''No, I didn't. I was supposed standing at the window of the fire house, I was the one mister Casey tried to stop. A boy named Terrance Fields did. He goes under the name Treeweed in the group. I don't know him so well.''

''Thank you for telling us. I hope you understand that you are still under arrest for breaking in and complicity.'' The boy nodded, was led out of the room by another cop.

The whole was to the rehabilitation centre, Casey was quiet. He kept hearing the words of the boy in his head, the name Terrance Fields and he tried to remember if it had been the boy running up the stairs to help them. He had been just as tall, same haircut.

''Are you thinking about the boy?''

Casey nodded, feeling sad that they had nearly reached 87th street.

''If what he said is honest, than he is really brave. I mean, for a criminal. He is never going to have a life again, even after he served his time in jail. They will kill him when he comes out of jail. ''

''I know, we ended up in the same boat, never having a life again thanks to that one bullet.''

Severide stopped the car, parking it on the side of the road.

''I thought you were looking forward to rehabilitation, to being able to life on your own again.''

Matthew shrugged. ''it just all seems so useless. I was hoping that it wouldn't be so permanent. The moment I enter that centre it feels like I am permanently paralyzed, by which I permanently lost my job and Hallie. Lost everything I cared about.''

Severide looked at the road in front of them, not knowing what to say. He exhaled slowly.

''What do you want me to do? Not bringing you there?''

Matthew shrugged again. ''I don't even care anymore. It is not like I have choice.''

''No, you don't have one except pushing everyone out of your life right now.'' Without explaining any further Severide started the car again, driving farther. He knew that Matthew knew what he meant.

_Is it getting better  
Or do you feel the same  
Will it make it easier on you now  
You got someone to blame_

Severide pushed the volume of the radio so far down it was mute and they drove in silence. He stepped out of the car at the centre and helped Matthew out.

''I am sorry I have to bring you here. Please try to make the best of it, I will stop by as much as I can.''

Casey nodded, nervous. They went to entrance together, Severide carrying his stuff, which were carried away inside by somebody else.

''So, bye.'' Matthew mumbled, smiling sad.

''Bye, see you as fast as I can.''

…..

Severide woke up the next morning from his phone. It was earlier than his alarm and he jumped out of bed. ''This is Kelly Severide, hello?''

''This is the CRC, are you Matthew Casey's relative?''

''Yes, I am.'' No, he wasn't, but he was the listed person. The nerves roared stomach, afraid for what was coming.

But even while he was expecting it, it felt like someone was stabbing him in the heart.

…..

NOTE: I don't know if the Chicago Rehabilitation Centre (CRC) exists, if it does, I didn't know. If it doesn't, it does now.

This was the last chapter for the upcoming two weeks, because I am leaving to England for 12 days this Friday and there is another story I want to finish before I leave, and I am not home a lot this week. (After Death for those who are wondering and reading both stories) I am going to travel from city to city without laptop so there won't be much opportunity to write. I think chapter 6 will be posted on Tuesday the 30th of July. But I am not sure if I should continue the story, since the views are narrowing down quickly every chapter, the feedback is getting less, so I hope you want me to continue, please tell me. I will decide by the feedback I will hopefully get on this chapter, which I hope you like. So, I hope to see you guys back when I return from England!

If not, thanks for reading the first few chapters and I am sorry for writing a bad storyline.

Stay safe!

x


	6. Chapter 6

''Jesus Matthew.''

Severide was shacking when he sat down at his friend's bedside, looking at the pale face that was lying in the pillows. His face seemed the one of young boy sleeping. The whole drive to the hospital had been a blur and now he was sitting here in complete silence. His eyes seemed to stray to the gauzed wrists every now and then, immediately turning his head away.

The door opened behind him. He turned around, to see Hallie peeking in. He jumped up immediately, pushing her back on the hallway, closing the door.

''What do you think you are doing here?'' He frowned, looking her into the eyes.

''I wanted to see how Matthew is.'' She looked up to him, her eyebrows bowing, as if she was trying to convince him.

''Why do you suddenly care? You left him in the first place.'' Severide said, still standing the doorway.

''I do care about him. '' Severide shook his head, even more mad at Hallie.

''No, you obviously don't if you can just dump him when he needs your support the most.'' Severide turned around, Hallie still with her mouth opened to say something. Slowly he walked back to the room, waiting for Hallie to respond, but she didn't. Instead he could hear her heels walking away over the hallway. Without looking back at her he walked back in the room.

The bird flew by the window. Severide looked at it, tossing his phone from one hand in another. He had called Boden to tell him what Casey had done. He had been stuttering, mumbling, trying to make complete sentences, but he couldn't face the fact that Casey hadn't lied when he had said that he'd rather be dead than paralyzed, although he had thought Casey had been angry, unreasonable when he had yelled it at him two weeks ago. But to be honest, Severide himself didn't want to think about what he would do when it had happened to him. It was good when all of the boys would finally get their punishments, but it wasn't changing anything for Matt, except he maybe could get some closure, but he was still paralyzed. Boden had been more than just shocked, promising him that he wouldn't tell anybody at the station. He had given him the whole day off to wait for Matthew to wake up.

How could he have even believed Matthew when eh had said that he didn't need to see a therapist, that he was fine? Nobody would be fine after something like this and he believed it. He was a fool, a bad friend actually.

He sighed, still looking at the birds flying by, they were free while he was sitting here in the most tese situation he had even been. His attention was pulled away from the window when he saw Matthew was looking at him.

''How are you feeling?'' Severide asked, worried.

''Disappointed.'' Matthew grumbled.

''As do I.'' Severide said back, immediately. He wasn't going to spend another conversation in pity. He was going to be honest.

''You don't understand.'' Matthew said, weak, slower by every word. ''I don't want to live life like this.''

''And I don't want you to either, but it just how it happened and death isn't going to make it any better.''

Matthew frowned. ''Want to switch places?''

''No! Where is rational, realistic Matthew, where has he gone? Please ask him to come back.''

Matthew turned his head away.

''Go.''

''No, I am staying here.''

Severide crossed his arms, not moving for a bit.

''Who found me?'' Matthew suddenly broke the silence.

''Your roommate. Great way to meet somebody.''

''If you are only here to judge me and be sarcastic, please just go.''

Severide shook his head as Matthew looked back at him.

''I am not going. I promised to be here for you and you just have to accept that help, like it or not.''

…

Meanwhile, at Molley's the men of truck 81 had gathered after their shift. Otis was leaning against a familiar pick-up.

''You really know a man for everything, right? Is there something you can't get done?'' Hermann said, looking into the pick-up

Otis smiled. ''Save a lot of numbers in your phone, it all might become handy one day. ''

''Are you sure the truck isn't too high for him to get in?'' Mouch said, looking through the truck as well. ''I think he can manage, if not, he can sell it anyway. At least he has a choice now.'' Otis smiled, actually proud for what he did. He had just been in time to put the pick-up back at his place before Severide and Casey got there to pick up Matt's stuff. Matthew hadn't noticed that the controls of the car where now hand controlled, but at least it would still be surprise.

''When will you bring it to him?''

''Na, I am sure he will come to Molly's soon, we will leave it on the parking here. ''

Hermann nodded, walked inside the bar. The rest of the fire men were waiting inside, also the men from squad, except for Severide. ''Is Severide visiting Matthew?''

''No, he was sick since morning.''

Hermann nodded, realized now that he indeed hadn't seen Kelly all day long. Otis was busy with the computer that was for the music and he started to clean the glasses. The door opened and he was surprised to see Severide walking in. he sat down in front of Hermann. ''Beer please.''

''Thought you were sick?''

''Not really, I had some personal business to take care of.'' Severide looked exhausted.

''Did you see Matthew today or yesterday?''

''Saw him yesterday, but I don't think we will see him again.''

Hermann looked at him, questioned.

''He doesn't want us, doesn't need us. He prefers Hallie.''

Severide looked aside; Hermann could see how much it hurt him.

…

After he had finished a few more beers in Molly's, he let Shay drive, crawling up the stairs when they got home. ''What happened between you and Matthew?'' Severide grumbled something, which wasn't understandable and pressed his head in the pillow. ''What is wrong with Matthew?''

She said down on his bedside.

''Nothing.'' He said to hear, looking up.

''There is, I know you, Kelly.''

''Fine, he wanted Hallie, not me. Not anybody from us, just Hallie. ''

''But you came home yesterday evening, mad that she dumped him.''

Severide rolled his eyes. ''Well, she came back to him in the hospital.''

''But I thought he was in the rehabilitation centre.''

''My mistake.'' For some reason, he wanted to tell what Matthew did, but he still didn't want to tell that to Shay, even though Matthew had been very rude to him this time.

''I am sorry, I hadn't Matthew expected to be that way. He had expected him to be more loyal, that he wouldn't take Hallie back after she told him that he was like a patient to her.''

She stood up . ''Sleep well, I am sure he will come around.''

Severide nodded, hoping Matthew would, not sure how to feel about the whole situation.

…

''I am so sorry about everything Matt. I was wrong in everything I said.''

He smiled at Hallie. ''I know, I am glad you came back.''

She smiled back. ''I am glad I did, I was wrong when I told you that being a doctor is my profession and that that is the reason that we weren't getting back together. I am not your doctor, I am your lover.''

Matthew closed his eyes.

''Are you going to sleep.''

He nodded. ''Goodnight.''

Hallie bow forward, kissed him on the forehead. He heard her heels hitting the hallway floor. Somehow, he couldn't believe she was back. He even feared that when he would open his eyes tomorrow that she would be gone and he would be alone again. Afraid he lost Severide already. Why didn't life ever go the easy way? He always liked to think of life as a rollercoaster ride, but now, it was just a fall down a waterfall. Even when he thought he made the whole fall, he was still swallowed by the water swallowing him when he fell all the way. Even when he thought everything was going to end, that the fall was finally over, he woke up here again, knowing he had made the fall longer and even worse. He couldn't even look Kelly in the eyes again.

…..

TWO WEEKS LATER

''Sorry, couldn't enter through the front, so I came in through the back.'' Otis jumped up nearly a feet, looking behind him to see Matthew. ''The door was open, don't know if it is was okay.''

Otis nodded. ''Sure, happy to see you here, how are you managing?''

''Good, can hopefully leave the centre in a few months, to live with Hallie.''

''I heard that the boys are going to prison.''

''Not all of them. But that is okay. One of their own ratted them out out of guilt; he is not going to prison. I spoke to him, he is just a kid of 15, ended up in the group by accident.''

''Sounds like one hell of an awful situation.''

''He might be eating it worse than me, actually. The brothers of the boys going to prison are after him.'' He looked to the table, where Severide and Shaw were sitting looking at him. He wheeled to the table. Now he was out of the heavy hospital wheelchair, in his own lightweight wheelchair, he was a lot faster.

''Hey Shay, can I borrow Kelly for a few minutes?''

She nodded, handing him her still full glass of beer. ''I will get another one.'' He smiled. ''Thank you.''

Severide looked at the table, tracing some of the lines in the word with his nails.

''I am very sorry for what I did, Kelly."

"okay. "

Casey made an unsure expression; "do you mean you forgave me? I know, I should have been loyal to you, not Hallie. But she meant what she said and I love her."

Severide nodded: "I hope she is good to you. If you need her support instead of mine, i accept that. "

"I do. But I also need your lame humor. " Severide smiled: " I might even miss your lame remarks sometimes. "

Casey chuckled, raised his beer: " Kelly, will you be my bro again?"

"Matthew, bro Kelly is back. Bro Matthew better be feeling good again. "

Casey but his lip. " i do, but I still have problems accepting. I don't want to lie about that to you if we are bros again. " as in a reflex, his hand went to his sleeve, hiding his wrists. Kelly didn't want to ask if Matthew didn't tell and tried to move the subject. Before he could, Otis sat down with them. "Casey, do you have a minute?"

Casey looked at Kelly, who nodded. He followed Otis, Kelly also following him. Surprised he looked at his own truck, wondering why Otis had taken him here, knowing that Otis was the owner now; "tada" Otis grinned, pulling open the door. " you changed the radio?" Matthew asked, not really knowing how to react. "no. Changed the controlling. Hope you appreciate. "

Matthews mouth fell open; " no, you didn't! how did you manage that?"

Otis shrugged; " I didn't do it. Hope you can get in. "

" no Otis. I can't make this up to you. "

"just get in the damn car" Kelly chuckled behind him.

"I didn't have any driving lessons yet. " Matthew mumbled, seemingly a little scared.

"how much do you think you can hit on this parkinglot?" Otis said, pointing around the nearly empty parkinglot.

Matthew shrugged. Then he wheeled to the car and lifted himself in, the truck nearly to Hugh. Severide just wanted to help him in when he managed "I got this. " Matthew mumbled, alittleout of breath.

Severide stepped in on the other side. "come on, try it!"

Matthewbit his lip, nodded then and started the car. The first round over the parking lot was slow andcareful.

"when I can drive again, we are going to Vegas. " he said, looking up to severide, a childish, naughty expression on his face.

...

NOTE:

Wednesday 17th of July

Muhahaha, you hadn't expected a chapter, had ya? Neither had I, but I have some spare time before I leave and I write it and put it on my phone, so I can upload it later and fill the gso of two weeks a little bit…

I have no idea where in England I am going to upload it…probably somewhere in the middle. (Nottingham….or maybe Blackpool, depends on where I can find Wi-Fi since the data of my phone isn't that much)

But I hope you like it when you see it and that you are surprised in a good way!

Please leave a review! I would be so happy to return home to turn on my pc and see a bunch of emails with reviews!

Added in England: turns out I can type on my phone very fast and I cant sleep. So a next chapter might still be coming. Also added some more to this one from before I went to england so I hope it doesn't to many errors from typing on my phone.


	7. Chapter 7

The sun was still very weak for a day March, but Severide was happy it was hot enough to leave his jacket in the car. He walked through the hall of the rehabilitation centre, to the small garden in the back, seeing Casey sitting in the grass against Hallie. He hesitated for a moment, didn't want to disturb their moment together. Hallie laid back with her eyes closed agains a tree, Casey leaning against her, his eyes opened. He smiled when his eyes met Kelly's and he waved him to come.

"nice day for a march day. " he sighed, sitting down next to them in the grass. He had just finished his shift which had lasted the whole night but he had promised to come by today.

Matthew smiled, squinting his eyes when while looking at the sun. "how was your shift?" Severide shrugged. "just the usual. Not very busy, small fire, luckily nobody turned out to be hurt. " Matthew nodded while Hallie stepped up, forcing him to grab Severide shoulder before he could lose his balance. "sorry, still haven't got the power to sit up without support. "

"I will get us something to drink. " Hallie walked away from the two men.

''Can you help me?'' Matthey said. The wheelchair was a few feet away and Severide walked to it, put it behind Casey. Matthew had finally accepted that he needed help sometimes, even he didn't want to ask. He also knew that Severide would always help him if he asked him to and that he didn't need to feel bad about it. Overall, he felt less helpless now he could move himself around. Fast he controlled the brakes and grabbed the frame, pulling himself in.

"why does she still hate me?" Severide said, looking as Matthew moving to his wheelchair, knowing he shouldn't help him

"she doesn't. She just had a rough week at work. She is even like that to me at this moment. We might have a found an apartment, but we can't afford it. Makes her even more stressed. " Matthew said, still looking up to the sun as he was seated.

"so you are actually going to move in with her again?"

"do you mind?" Severide was surprised by how is eyebrows were bow, as if he was actually worried about what he thought about it. "why would I? It is your life. I am glad you and Hallie are happy together again."

Matthew nodded. "thank you. "

"about the apartment, there is one free in out building. The rent shouldn't be to high, as it has only one floor.''

''Thank you, but Hallie and I are moving away from Chicago.'' Matthew turned his eyes away, afraid for Severide's reaction.

''Where are you going? Why are you leaving Chicago, I though you loved the city?'' Severide's voice was trembling.

''We are moving to Arizona.''

Severide didn't know what to say, looked at the table.

''Why Arizona?'' He suddenly said, looking up.

Casey still didn't look him in the eyes. ''I want to go away from Chicago. I want to live somewhere where it doesn't snow, so I won't have to relive that shooting every time the snow falls. Hallie called the hospital in Phoenix and she can probably get a job there.''

Severide mouth opened, not knowing what he could and should say, he closed his mouth again, just frowning while staring at the table.

After a few minutes he finally could speak up the words out loud; ''Just…why do you leave all of us behind?''

Casey finally looked up. ''I am sorry, but what is left here for me?''

Severide frowned. ''I am, house 51 is still there for you.''

Casey rolled back, moved his hands over his knees, tears in his eyes. ''I am sorry, Kelly, But I am not a firefighter anymore. Do you think I can still come to house 51 everyday?''

''yes, you are welcome in firehouse 51 every day you want to come.''

''It hurts. It hurts to see the life I left behind without a choice.''

Hallie came walking outside, tray with bottles in her hand. ''Are you guys okay?''

''Fine, just…can you please give us a few more minutes?'' Matthew muttered, looking up to her.

Hallie shrugged, handed him the glass of water and Severide the cup of coffee, walked back inside.

''I am sorry Kelly, I just want to start over.''

''I don't understand. You don't have to be in firehouse 51, but you can't just leave everything behind.''

Casey put the glass down, looking to the table.

''Would you want me to come firehouse 51 everyday, doing nothing? I would just be looking around, doing nothing.''

''If that is what it takes to keep you here. I can speak for whole firehouse 51 when I say we would miss you too much when you left for Arizona, especially because you don't belong there. You have Hallie, but we are your family as well.''

Casey looked sad, tapping with his fingers against the glass. Instead of looking at Severide, he seemed to look far away over his shoulder, as if he was staring at something there.

''Are you okay?''

Casey shook his head. ''yeah, yeah, I was just thinking for a second. I'd miss you, but again, I want to start over with Hallie. I can't do that here in Chicago. I mean, the decision hasn't been made completely yet, but I just can't imagine myself staying in Chicago.''

''I will take you to firehouse 51 tomorrow, if that is what it takes you to keep you here.''

…..

''Casey!'' Cruz jumped out of the truck, slamming him on the shoulder in a friendly manner.

''It is good to see you here!'' he smiled at Casey.

''Good to be here as well.''

Together they went to the common room. The other guys of truck 81 greeted him while Casey went to the table they were all sitting, having lunch. One unfamiliar face looked at him, puzzled face.

''This is our new candidate, Danny Westerfield.'' Otis said, introducing him to Casey.

''Hi Danny, Matthew Casey.'' He shook his hand, smiling at the still really young boy.

''Great to meet you, heard things about you from the others.''

''Good things I hope.'' Casey joked, looking the boy in his boyish face.

''All good things.'' Danny reassured him, as if he was serious.

Matthew guessed he was younger than Mills. He looked around for Mills, not sure if Mills had lift. Suddenly he saw Mills was standing in the kitchen. ''I moved to squad.'' He smiled, proud.

''Good job, I knew you could do it.''

''Thank you, good to see you here. We are having lunch, do you also want a plate?''

Casey wheeled to the kitchen, grabbing a plate; ''Sure.'' Mills filled the plate with Chicken and rice and Casey moved the table, settling between Hermann and Otis.

Severide and the rest of the squad walked into the room, grabbing a plate and walked to the table, settling down.

''So, when you go home to life with Hallie?'' Hermann asked.

Casey swallowed his food. ''We are still looking for an apartment so we are reassured to have a house, but the rehabilitation will still take weeks. '' He was avoiding Severides eyes, which were surely looking at him from the other side of the table.

''My house has been sold-'' he wanted to say to keep Severide from saying anything, but he was intermitted by another sound.

''ENGINE 51, TRUCK 81, SQUAD 3, AMBULANCE 61''

The whole table jumped up, running out. While he looked after the men running out of the room, he felt empty. Alone, he moved his plate to the counter, going back to the rehabilitation centre. It felt awful, not being able to go with them, not being the guy to jump in in the front while they raced to the drama where they needed to help. Therapy was working, but he still felt awful at times. It took him a long time before he was back in the centre, going ot his room and dragged himself in the bed, to fall asleep crying.

…

As always, he entered Molly's through the back. It was one week since he had seen the guys. His arms were exhausted from PT, although he was starting to build even more muscles in his arms than he already had as he was still working as a firefighter. He was just glad to be out of the centre for a while. They didn't like him going out on his own, but he kept reassuring he would be back the centre around a decent time and a save, and for all the times he left, he had kept hat promise.

''Mr Casey!'' Danny was smiling at him from behind the faucet.

''Just say Matt, or Matthew.'' He smiled at Danny, ordering a coke.

He wheeled to the table where Shay and Severide were sitting, joining them.

''Hallie has a shift?'' Kelly asked, surprised to see him there. On Friday nights, Matthew usually spent the evening with Hallie, joining them on Saturday.

''She is at the airport.'' Matthew shrugged.

''Is she going to Cancun with her sister already? I thought that was next month.' Kelly said, surprised. Casey shook his head.

''No, she is Phoenix.''

''Oh, she is looking for a house already?'' Severide said, irritated as well as surprised.

Casey nodded. ''We found a pretty beautiful house, which doesn't need any adjusting as the bathroom and all are already – well you understand.''

''Wait. What?''' Shay suddenly said in the middle of the two guys. ''Hallie left you to go live in Phoenix?''

Severide looked to the ground, he didn't want Matthew to move all the way to Phoenix and with Hallie already looking for a house there, it seemed to have become unavoidable.

''She didn't leave me. The house is going to be for both of us.''

Shay frowned. ''You are joking. Really? What would you do in Arizona, hump a cactus?'' she muttered, seemingly annoyed.

''No, I want to build a life there.'' Matthew answered really serious.

''Oh. Okay.'' Shay said, not really knowing how to say. Matthew would never joke about something like this. He was serious, they were moving to Arizona.

Matthew took a sip of his coke, hoping the uncomfortable silence would be broken soon by somebody, that it not needed to him. He had no idea what he should say in this situation.

Luckily it was Severide. ''I am going home, tired from my shift. Do you want me to drive you to the centre? It is on the route, would be happy to know for sure that you arrived safe and sound.''

Matthew shrugged. ''I just arrived.''

''I insist.'' Severide looked at him and by the way he was looking, Casey knew he should go with Severide.

''Fine, just let me finish this.'' Matthew drank the glass in one go and wheeled to the counter.

''Will have to take the back.'' He waved everyone goodbye, Severide following him through the narrow stock rooms and the small kitchen.

''So…what do you want me to say,. I know you want to say something and you couldn't say it in there.''

''I have something to ask, what can I do to keep you here and to not let you move to Arizona?''

Matthew sighed. ''Nothing. I have decided and it is my call to make. If you can make Chicago a sunny place where it doesn't snow every winter and where nobody knows who I am and nobody pities me, I might stay.''

Severide kneeled down a little bit, so they were on eye level.

''I would change the weather if I could and change everybody's twisted view. But I can't. But do you think that will be any different in Phoenix? It can still snow there and people are the same.''

Matthew frowned. ''Why won't you just let me go where I want. It is also about starting over, so I won't have to your burden anymore.''

''Matt, you aren't a burden. Please stop thinking you are a burden since you aren't. you belong here with your family of firehouse 51. Together with Hallie, but also with us. Please stay. ''

Matthew looked away again, rubbing his hands of his knees. Only now Severide realized how thin his legs had become.

''I don't know, Kelly. Sorry.''

''Please just think about it twice, Matthew. You are leaving a lot behind, even if you want to start over.''

Matthew looked up again, biting his lip, trying to contain his tears.

''Don't you think I already thought about?''

''I think you did more than twice. But please think again, even if it is the fifth time.''

Matthew shook his head.

''I am sorry, I can't stay here.''

…..

NOTE: I am back in the Netherlands, pretty tired of the trip but happy I can finally write on my keyboard again, although it is not my original one, since my PC is off for fixing since it crashed when I wanted to upload my holiday pictures. Karma hates me.

So, what do you think of Casey's moving plans? Sorry for the people who live in Arizona with Shay's remark…it just seemed to me it would be something Shay could say. I have nothing against Arizona, I actually want to go Arizona one day!

Anyway, I hope you are not like Karma and like the chapter….and you will leave a review! I know the last chapter was pretty weak but it was the best I could do before I left and was in England….and maybe there will be some bromance in Vegas later, maybe because Casey moves and it is his way of saying goodbye…or some other occasion….review and you might know sooner! J


	8. Chapter 8

''The house is perfect, I am sure you will like it as well. The kitchen might be a little small, but we can always – ''

''Hallie, I am not sure anymore if I still want to go to Phoenix. I know it was my idea but I am not sure if I should leave everything behind.''

Hallie hung up the phone. Casey laid the phone down and looked up to Severide.

''I think she is mad at me.''

''I think you should have told her when she was here again, not when she is on the other side of the country fulfilling your wish to look for a house there. ''

Casey nodded. ''True, not really thoughtful. I hope she still comes back.''

''She will, she is probably just irritated and maybe she also doesn't really want to leave Chicago.''

''Whoa, wait a second, I never said I was really going to stay in Chicago, I just said I wasn't sure anymore.''

Severide sighed; ''I know, I know. But I am happy you are in doubt now, so you will think about it again.''

Even though Severide had said to bring Matthew home, they went to another bar close to the centre, since they left molly's so early. Severide took his empty glass and walked back to the bar, holding two beers now. ''Just one. Come on, I haven't seen you drinking since..''

''Since the shooting, yeah.'' Matthew finished his sentence, seeing Severide doubting if he could bring it up out loud. ''You don't have to walk on your toes every time you want to say something to me. I just haven't been drinking because I didn't feel there was something to celebrate and I had other things to think about.''

''I am not walking on my toes with you, I just want to have a nice evening, so I didn't want to bring it up halfway the sentence.''

''Cheers then.'' Matthew raised the glass.

''Cheers.'' Severide hit the glass with his, took a few sips.

They took a few sips, but the glasses down again.

''Why did you want to leave Molly's?''

Severide shrugged. ''I just wanted to talk with you in private, plus the new kids kept starting, it started to creep me out.''

''Danny was staring at you?'' Matthew frowned. ''Why would that be strange? I think he wants to move to squad.''

''No, he was staring at you. Scary staring, as if he was possessed. It was probably nothing, it just creped me out. That was why I wanted to talk in Private.''

''You don't want to know how many people stare at me now. I mean, Dawson still sits on the staring throne, but even in the street people turn around to see me, or are avoiding looking at me on purpose, especially close to the station since they know who I am.''

Severide nodded.

''Even Hallie's mom didn't know how to react when she saw me a few weeks ago. I didn't change, but it seems everybody's view of me has changed.''

''I still think you are a softy, that didn't change.'' Severide tried to make a joke.

''Well, I still think you are a dork.'' Matthew laughed back.

''So you saw the witch-in-law a few weeks ago?''

Severide hadn't know a lot about Casey's private life before they had become friends, but everybody in the station knew that Hallie's mom was one of the worst mothers in law you could possible get them. No matter how much effort Matthew put for Hallie, or how nice he was to her, he never could do something good to her. One time, when neither of them wasn't a lieutenant yet, she had come to the station to yell at him for borrowing Hallie's car and bringing it back one day later than he promised. Everybody had been quiet, afraid of what to say until Andy Darden had opened his mouth with what later had become one of his most loved one liners; ''Just let your daughter borrow your broom.'' Casey had apologized for what Andy had said, but he wasn't allowed to come at the Thomas's Christmas dinner after being a real relationship with Hallie for three years at the time, having passed the stage of High school sweethearts to real lovers.

As if Matthew could read his mind Casey laughed. ''yeah, she arrived at her Nimbus 2000.''

''I remember staying at the station with Christmas as you weren't allowed to come and Andy was also there, though I left earlier, Andy wanted to party crash the family dinner.''

''He wanted to give Hallie's mom the old broom of the station, wrapped and all.''

Severide laughed, opened his mouth in amazement. ''So you do know why the broom on the station says 'Nimbus 2000'! That was why you and Andy always did a sprint when the floor had to be swept and nearly hitting each other over the old broom.''

Matthew laughed, pulling the neck of his shirt aside a little bit, showing the scar on his collarbone. ''Nearly? I took a broom to the collarbone.''

''And Andy took a broom to the face. Heather was so pissed with you both when he came back with the black eye.''

''You know who was pissed? Boden. One more of those jokes and we would be dismissed. That was when we had to grow up.''

Severide nodded. ''We all had to grow up at one point. We were a group of reckless young dogs when we started at the station.''

''Miss those days.'' Matthew smiled, grabbing Severide's empty glass. ''Do you want another one?'' Severide nodded. ''I will walk back home. It is not that far.''

Matthew nodded, went to the bar and returned with two glasses balancing on his legs.

''I am so screwed if they fall now.''

''You kind of are.'' But he managed to bring the glasses to table safe.

''The next superbowl, you are so going to be our personal butler, instead of Otis who only runs with two glasses at the time.''

''I think I can bring 8 at the time. But, I can't promise I will still be living –''

''Stop, I was just joking. Let's not talk about the moving anymore. By the way, now you have shown your skills you are not getting away anymore.''

They drank their beers, followed by another one. They laughed about things they remembered from when they were still in school, although they didn't know each other that well in high school.

''I was scared of you. You were always the biggest, strongest guy in the football team. Remember you were sitting behind me in math class. I was afraid you would get mad when I even looked at you.'' Matthew laughed.

''Math class? I can't remember. But I wasn't there a lot.'' He chuckled.

''I remember you and your friends threw the clothes of the swimming team in the pool, while we in the showers.''

Severide looked surprised; ''You were in the swimming team? Were you the person to win the tournament between the Chicago schools?'''

''No way, I was the loser of the team, but swimming seemed the most save sport to me. Like I said, I was scared for you and the rest of football team.''

Severide frowned; ''Why were you so afraid of me?''

''Again, you were always screwing with the swimming team. Or at least your friends, but you were always walking with them. But remember the science club was even more screwed. ''

''Sorry, had to keep up my reputation. Everybody has to survive High School and if I could go back, I would have never acted to some of the kids like I did back then. ''

Matthew shook his head. ''No need for a apologizing, I survived by getting high grades and trying not to be really strike, which wasn't hard, since I was really shy kid back then. Most of the teachers didn't even know I was in their class until they saw my name on the test papers after I got a high grade.''

Severide smiled. ''I wish I got through High school like that, I do remember we were in Fire school together, sharing the same lunch table with Andy as our mutual friend. You just never said anything.''

''Because listening to your stories was really good. You always had something funny to tell, so did Andy. I loved hearing about you going out and doing crazy stuff. I spent my weekends in other ways.'' Matthew left the table for a second to get more drinks. When he returned Severide couldn't help but ask.

''Why did you never go with us if you liked the stories, or couldn't you leave in the weekends?''

Matthew shrugged, handing him the glass. ''You never asked me to join you and I didn't dare to invite myself. I spend my weekends earning money.''

''Also in the evening?'' Severide frowned.

''Yeah, I had bought a really crappy boat, completely restored it, working more than seventeen hours every weekend day. I sold it for double the price I had bought it and from the money I paid my holiday.''

''You mean your backpack tour through Europe?''

Casey nodded, smiling. ''I am glad I did, though. It was such an experience. If I hadn't done it that summer, I never would have done it.''

''I still want to tour through Europe.''

''I still wanted to do the same in Australia, but it just never happened because – nevermind. It won't happen anymore.''

Matthew was staring at his glass, sad expression on his face.

''You could still go to Australia, I am su-.''

''Not anymore.'' He mumbled back before Severide could finish his sentence.

''Why not, Matthew? Australia is still there.''

Casey shrugged. ''Hallie doesn't want to, plus I can't go the way I always wanted to go. I wanted to backpack, traveling where ever the wind would take me, or the bus went. Working here and there, making a real adventure. I wanted to give it a second try after we graduated. But we got offer for firehouse 51 and I knew I should feel blessed to have that offer right away, so I took it and so did you and Andy.''

Severide nodded. ''I understand, but you could still see the continent, right?''

Casey shrugged. ''Mwah, maybe.''

''We are still going to Vegas, remember?''

''True, but let's go home soon. I don't know about you, but I am getting pretty tired and it is getting late. I promised to be back in the centre before twelve.''

Severide checked his watch. ''We should go back, then. It is a quarter to twelve and it is a ten minute walk- err.''

''Do you mind if I switch the walking part for rolling?'' Matthew joked. ''Don't feel awkward. I even refer myself to walking at least twice a day. Hallie is starting to make walking a forbidden word, she won't even let me listen to '500 miles' by the proclaimers.''

Severide grabbed their jackets, stumbling a little while bringing the empty glasses to the bar.

''Sorry to say, but if she won't even let you listen to certain songs, I start to doubt that she has inherited some of her moms genes.''

Severide opened the door for him. ''Don't be mean about my girl.'' Matthew said, looking up to Severide, quasi-mad. ''She still arrives in her car, not by broom-express.''

Severide chuckled as they went to his car, just go grab their jackets and continued their way.

''This was a really great night, thanks.''

''No thanks, I enjoyed it , we should do this more often. Who had expected that in math class?'' He joked. The rest of the way back to the centre they were silent. Severide knew he still had a long way to go after the centre but he wanted to make sure Matthew came home safe. He knew that Matthew was capable of getting home safe, but he could hear on his way of speaking the long time that he hadn't drank any alcohol was getting to him.

''So, goodnight..'' Severide said when they reached the centre, somebody waiting for him at the door, probably to close the door behind him.

''I need to ask you something, sorry.''

''What is it?'' Severide said surprised.

''Hallie is already coming back tomorrow. If it is not inconvenient or if you even want to, could you please drive me to the airport? I promised to bring her, but I don't dare to drive yet. I just got my special driving license and actually, I don't dare to drive yet.''

Severide shook his head. ''I have a shift, sorry. I would have brought you there if I could.''

''It is fine. Guess I have to drive myself.''

''I am sure you will do great.''

''Thanks, goodnight.''

…

''I missed you.'' He said, smiling when Hallie walked with him to the car. The airport wasn't that far away, but he was glad that the driving had been going really well.

''I was only gone for five days.'' She said, holding the rose he had brought her, while he carried her back on his lap.

''I know, but I still missed you.''

''Don't be so sweet, now I feel guilty for cursing you the whole flight.''

Matthew nodded. ''I suck, I know. I just am not sure if I can leave everyone behind in Chicago.''

''Doesn't matter, we can talk about it later.

The sun was shining again, not as strong as the previous day, but it was still better than the cold winter they had.

''Where are you going?'' Hallie started to cross the pedestrian crossing to the parking garage.

''Didn't you see my pick up over there?'' he said, pointing at the row with cars parked at the disabled parking places. At first he had doubted if he should put it there, but he knew it would be more convenient.

''Oh. That is close.'' She just mumbled.

''It has its perks.'' He mumbled. She walked past him, stepping in the car, throwing the car in the middle before he could even lift himself in the car. He closed the belt so he could lean forward to pick up the lightweight, foldable wheelchair.

''Uhm… Hallie. Would you mind holding your bag on your lap, or could you throw it in the back? I kind of need the middle to put my chair.'' He said, not daring to look at her. She moved the bag on her lap and he folded the chair, placing it between them, not seeing anything, afraid to look at her expression. He was afraid she still was having second thoughts over their relationship.

He started the car, driving of the parking lot, silent until she opened her mouth.

''When will you finally get rid of this truck?''

''I won't.''

Her finger moved to the radio, putting his Bruce Springsteen CD on mute.

''Matthew, this truck is not option.''

''Do you have any other idea? From what money are we going to buy a new car?''

''From that money you could have get when you would have sued the boys! All the money you are getting from them is the money to pay your rehabilitation, what about money for personal damage?''

''How about no?''

He pressed the volume up again, signaling her their conversation was over. He had hoped that the plans for moving would have made their relationship better, but instead all it had gotten them was stress.

Springsteen was suddenly silent again.

''You could also go by public transport and we could sell it and also use the money to buy the house in Phoenix.''

''Will you please let me have my mobility?'' He said, mad, without looking aside.

He pressed the radio on again, louder this time.

''BORN IN THE USA!'' He yelled with the radio.

''You are so childish.'' Hallie complained, crossing her arms and looking out of the window.

He was happy they had nearly reached Molly's, where he parked his car, because there wasn't a lot of parking space available at the rehabilitation centre.

Hallie jumped out of the car.

''You better make up your mind about us, the moving and this rusty thing on wheels.''

''I have made up my mind, you sell your car, buy me a new car and you go to work on your mothers broom. I thought you understood me!'' He said, mad, getting out of the car.

''Oh, I don't understand you?''

''No, you don't. This car makes me feel I can still go around on my own. Makes me feel mobile and that was so important according to you.''

''Matthew, I am not even going to fight over this. Just make up your mind. You were the one wanting to leave Chicago. ''

''I just don't know.''

''You should have sued the boys, would have made everything a lot easier!''

Matthew nearly laughed in disbelief. ''Is that what it is about, the money?''

''No, but it would have made everything a whole lot easier.''

''Did you come back to me in the hope that I would get a lot money for suing them?''

''Matt, how can you even think I would be like that?''

He frowned; ''It wouldn't be the first time you would leave me and you are the person who even dumped me twice after I was shot, because you didn't think our relationship would be lasting because of my injury. You became different after I told you I wasn't going to sue them. I wanted to move away to start over…but do you even want to be with me now?''

''Not with you as you are behaving right now.''

''Fine, because I hate your behavior now as well.''

She bow her head indignant to the side.

''You became such a bitter ass.''

''You became such a gold digger. If I sue them today, this fight would probably end up in sex, wouldn't it?''

She stomped her foot on the ground, like a small child.

''No, you are so unfair!''

''What about you?'' He said, finally freeing all the frustrations he had kept in himself for weeks.

''This fight wouldn't end up in sex, because you aren't that exciting in bed anymore!''

Muffled laughing sounded from the street side and he looked to the right, to see people standing who had been witnessing the whole fight. Some of them looked shocked, some were laughing.

Hallie's face became red. ''I am sorry, that was wrong to say.''

Without saying something else, Matthew turned around and went away.

He and Hallie never had belonged together. This was their fourth break up and he didn't even understand why he could still fall for the lie.

He arrived at the centre, happy that Hallie hadn't followed him. His phone shook in his pocket and he looked at it, ready to throw it aside if it was Hallie. Instead it was Severide.

_''Shay & Dawson were helping somebody on the other side of the crossroad by molly's. They saw you fighting. Sorry bro, told you she was like her mom. Bro-day tomorrow. Kelly''_

He smiled at the irony, the person he had always been afraid of was the only person he could trust.

...

Disclaimer: Bruce Springsteen and his lyrics obviously don't belong to me (he is a little bit to old for me anyway, lol )

What do you think, did the moving plans just get cancelled or will Matthew and Hallie still make it up? Also, what did you think about the conversation Kelly and Matthew were having in the bar about their school time, did you like it? Please let me know! Also, would you like to have more details about Matthews injury and the adjusting to it, or more details about the boys etc. ?

Hope you enjoyed this chapter – the ending might be little lame though - it became a lot of longer than I had expected, but I had a lot of time off today. But a lot of full working days coming up…

Please let me know what you thought of it! Don't leave the review box empty! It will get hungry and empty and I will have to comfort it instead of being able to write the upcoming bro-moments. ;)


	9. Chapter 9

''Did she actually say that to you?'' Severide looked surprised.

''She did. I wanted to say something mean back, but I figured it would only make things worse, not any better.'' Matthew sighed. They were sitting outside again by the centre.

''Do you still want to come to Molly's tonight? I could pick you up, but I think it is better to do things than to think about Hallie.''

Matthew shrugged, he wasn't really up to lying the whole night how good he felt, to be honest he didn't even dare to see Shay and Dawson. They were the ones that saw him and Hallie fighting.

''Okay, I also don't like the spent the night alone here, I guess.'' He mumbled then.

''Sure, I will pick you up at 8. Don't worry, I don't think anyone knows except for Shay, Dawson and me.'' He was looking over Matthews shoulder.

''Uh oh, the broom express has arrived.''

''Hallie?'' Matthew said, not daring to look behind him.

''In the flesh. Do you want me to send her away? She is in the hall, seems to be waiting for you to come inside.''

''I am not sure if I want to talk to her, but to be honest I am also eager to know what she wants to say to me. Or what she thinks that is left to say.'' Matthew said, still not looking at Hallie.

''I will let her through, will get us something to drink. Will be back in a few minutes – just don't listen to her if she is mean.''

Matthew nodded, smiled, but the smile vanished as soon as Severide had passed him. Nervous he started to drum on the table, still not looking behind him, or even around him.

''hey.'' Hallie sat down in front of him.

''Hey.'' He said, not looking up to her, instead looking at her hands at the table. At the ring which she was wearing again. Was she going to throw it at him again?

''I am sorry about what I said yesterday. It is not true what I said and I think we should have a good talk.''

Matthew looked up at her; ''Not really. We just don't belong together, Hallie. We have tried so many times. We broke up because you didn't want me to become a fire fighter when we left high school. We broke up because you didn't like me being a fire fighter when we were back together. We broke up because we couldn't even talk about how we wanted to spend our future together. You wouldn't even talk about having a baby. Now we brake up because I am not good enough anymore, apparently. Thinking back, I never been, neither to your mom nor you.''

Hallie exhaled. ''You have always been enough.''

''Please don't lie. Am I best man you know? No, I am just the best you can get. It is true, isn't it? When you couldn't find a better guy, you came back to me.''

''Can you please just stop? This is so not true.''

Matthew sighed, ''What is the truth, then? Is it too hard to see me again, because of your little fragile feelings?''

Hallie jumped up; ''Actually, yes! I warned you for years, something bad would happen when you remained a fire fighter,.''

''I wasn't even on shift when this happened. How can this have something to do with being a fire fighter?''

She crossed her arms, which annoyed him, since she always did that when she thought she was right. ''Because you were around the station, as always. You can't leave your work behind you.''

''Maybe because the station is my home! They were the ones supporting me after I was shot, where were you? Right, you were playing with my feelings, loving me and dumping me.''

''Matthew, I am so done with you,''

''I am done with you, Hallie. All you care about is yourself and I could have known, if you really loved me we could have talked about having a baby instead of you running out without having a decent conversation. Can't believe you fooled me again with your fragile little feelings.''

''Bye, Matt!'' She walked inside, nearly bumping into Severide. ''And I hate you, too! Dick!'' She yelled at him.

''Told you she hated me.'' Severide said in a very dry manner, putting the tray on the table. Matthew tried to contain his laughter, but he failed. Together they laughed for a few seconds. ''I had expected her head to explode when you started about her fragile little feelings.'' Severide laughed.

''You could hear that inside?''

''Live drama is always the best. But I hope you got it all off your chest.''

Matthew sighed. ''I think I am not even going to miss her anymore. I still feel awful about what she said yesterday, but somehow her words didn't even really hit me today.''

'' I know but you should forget about that as well. She was the one saying it, she isn't worth feeling bad about.''

Matthew nodded, grabbing a glass from the tray.

''What if I stay alone now.'' He said, laughing but Severide could hear he was actually serious.

''You are a great guy, you will find a girl good for you, I am sure.''

''I hope so. Actually, I am not feeling up to going to Molly's tonight.''

Severide frowned. ''Are you sure, I wouldn't want you to cry tonight over somebody who doesn't deserve it.''

''I know, I just have a somewhere I want to go.''

….

Bruce Springsteen was singing through his speakers again. Before, he would have been singing and drumming loud along with the music. Now he had to focus on driving, since he was afraid to screw up with the hand controls. The night was darkening the Chicago sky and it was nearly dark when he finally reached the restaurant he had asked his mom to come. After all, she still was his mother. He had called her once since he was shot. She told him that she had heard on the news that a lieutenant of firehouse 51 was shot and paralyzed. She told him he was so sorry for his colleague and he hadn't dared to tell her she was talking about her own son.

But he also realized he better could have told her straight away, he felt very nervous getting out of the car, having to face his mother. After a few deep sigh he left the car, there was a little rain outside and he was happy when he was dry and warm in the restaurant. He looked around, for his mother, but there was no table with a single person sitting at it. Instead he saw her hair and the face of a guy he had never seen before. She was going out again, as he had expected but he wasn't sure if he still should go to the table, not wanting to meet her new date. Before he could leave, the date looked over his moms shoulder and he pointed at Casey. ''Your son?'' His mom turned around, her eyes big and shocked.

''Matt!'' She stood up from the table, walking up to him. She stood in front of him for a few seconds, not knowing what to do, giving him an awkward hug then. ''Why didn't you tell me?'' she said, her head on his shoulder.

''I couldn't, didn't want to scare you. I am fine, mom.'' He said with a smile. A fake one, because he felt crappy.

The man stood up as well. ''Vaughn, nice to finally meet you. Your mom told a lot about you.''

He looked up to his mom. ''So, this one is actually a stayer?'' He whispered, when Vaughn walked back to the table.

His mom smiled, shrugged. ''Could be.''

They went to the table, Matthew shoving on the of the chairs aside so he could sit at the table. A lot of tables were even to low for him, resulting in his knees being pressed against the table, or that he had to sit so far away from the table he couldn't speak with the people at the table, one of those tables were the tables at molly's, though he could manage now by sitting sideways and leaning on the table with his elbow. Sometimes he got hopeless by how everything needed adjustment, but he was getting used to it now.

''So, Matthew, you worked at a fire fighter.''

''Work.'' His mom and Vaughn looked puzzled.

''I just haven't been officially dismissed yet.'' He said, looking in the menu, knowing the work was reflex. Every time he said worked in Molly's the other men yelled work because he hadn't been dismissed yet and they were hoping he could stay in one way, even if it was just office work.

''But he became a lieutenant so young! His father would have been so proud.''

Casey looked up from the menu, his eyes big in shock.

''It is a shame your father lost the fight against his disease before you were promoted.'' Vaughn nodded, more to his mom than to him. He wanted to say something, instead he just kept hidden behind the menu. His mom was a disease now?

''Have you decided yet?'' His mom asked his attention from the menu.

''I am not really hungry, actually. I will just have a small portion of soup.'' He wasn't even lying. The way his mom was talking about his father's passing made him sick.

''Are you sure? You look like you can pass out any second. Are you eating enough, or are you in pain?''

His mom reached out to touch his shoulder but he pushed her hand away; ''Mom, I am fine. I am just not so hungry and that is not because I am in pain.''

Yes, as usually in the evening, his back was sore from sitting up all day and his legs were tense and sometime a little shaking from the muscle spasms he was having nearly every night. Those didn't hurt since he didn't have a lot of feeling down there, but it was uncomfortable.

But it was not the pain that made him nausea.

''The only thing that hurts me now is the way you talk about dads death, as if you are actually trying to get Vaughn's pity. Did you tell him you are a widow?''

''I am sorry Vaughn, Matthew has never really gotten over the death of his father.'' She smiled at Vaughn. After that she frowned at Matthew, nodded, her face seemed to beg him to play along.

They ordered their food and drinks.

''It is weekend, you could also drink one beer.''

Matthew shook his head. ''No, I have to drive.''

''Are you driving?'' His mom said, surprised and seemingly scared.

''Why so surprised? I am not a baby.'' He said, getting a little upset with his mother.

They watched in silence how their drinks were served and Matthew hoped that the food would come soon so he could excuse himself and leave when he had finished it.

Vaughn tried to start a conversation again; ''So, how is your love life.''

''I am single.''

His mom opened his mouth; ''Do you still see that Thomas girl? I always liked her, she was so kind and ambitious. '' Matthew had just taken sip from his coke and started to cough.

''No, I don't see her anymore.'' He said between the coughs.

''That is a shame. I had always hoped you 'd marry her one day and maybe build a family with her.''

He tried to think if he had ever been in a more awkward situation, but he couldn't think of one. Okay, it had been awkward when there was a fire in a apartment building and he had to carry one girl outside who was naked. But that was for his work and it felt different. He had felt awkward when he had seen Hallie's family for the first time and it was very awkward when he refused Dawson's kiss on the party. But his own mom just sat on the throne of making him feel awkward.

''Mom, to be honest, we have been together again for a few weeks but we broke of this week.''

Because this morning would have made her ask to many questions.

''Like, for forever.'' He said before she could open her mouth to tell him again how much she liked Hallie. Luckily, the food was brought to the table and his mom was too busy eating to continue the interrogation.

''I am afraid I have to go. I need to be back at the rehabilitation centre before ten, because of the curfew. '' Liar, he didn't need to be back until twelve. Even though he wanted to see his mom, he already had enough of her within an hour. He was happy she was at least only seeing one guy. His mom walked with him to the car after he said goodbye to Vaughn, who hoped that he would become a great stepdad to kick Matthew's mother of the throne of awkwardness and Matthew was happy he reached the car without any kisses of his new dad.

He lifted himself on the drivers chair, closing his belt and lifting his legs in the car. His mom wanted to help with his chair but he refused her help.

Before he could close the door after he said bye his mom kissed him right on the middle of his forehead. He wanted to yell he didn't want to be kissed anymore on the age of twenty-nine but she still was his mom.

''Just promise we will see each other more often!'' She said before he could close the car door.

''I promise.'' He said, with a smile, closing the car door and driving away. Before he hit the big road he saw in the rearview mirror that his mom left a big kiss-shaped red spot on his head from her lipstick. In a reflex he wanted to spit on his hand and wipe it away, but he couldn't use his hands. First thing when he parked.

When Matthew nearly reached the big road he heard a loud scream from an alley. He stopped the car and opened the window.

''Hello? Need any help?'' He didn't want to leave the car, feeling vulnerable without the big truck around him.

Somebody came running form the alley, holding her hand in front of her face, long black hair falling in front of her face.

''Dawson?!''

She looked up, removing the hand, showing the blood flowing from her eyebrow. Not hesitating for a moment she stopped beside him the car.

''Drive, Matthew, please!'' She said panicking. Without any doubt, Matthew started the car again, leaving the dark alley behind.

…..

So you wanted Dawson? Well, here she is! I am not sure if it is going to end up in a romance, but it might. At least she entered the story…but what happened to her?

And what did you think about the Casey and his mom part. Although she seems to disappear in the series, I wanted to bring the mom back, to break the eternal conversations between Casey and Severide, also it might be interesting to bring back some of the past. Hope you think so.

Hope you like this chapter, I know it is a little bit on the short side. But I like cliffhangers…..

Please leave review what you think of this chapter and also what you hope to happen; as you see, it might help. 3x Dawson in a review and here she is. I do try to keep it realistic though, but three big dramas is normal in a Chicago fire episode, so why not here?

So, thanks a lot to the people who left a review! I'd love to thank the signed in members personally but it is so late and I am so hungry. But it means a lot to me and thank you! Hoep this won't keep you from leaving another review.

Another question, how long would you like this story to be, how much more chapters would you guys like? I am full of inspiration but I wouldn't want to bore you. Hope you spare some time to tell me J

Tomorrow will be the hottest day in decades in the Netherlands, especially in the part where I live….so probably no chapter tomorrow. I am already happy if I survived my working day in the heath, don't think there is coming much productive after that…sorry. If I would write tomorrow, it would probably be rushed and not good.

x


	10. Chapter 10

''Are you okay?'' Carefully, he pressed a tissue against Dawson's eyebrow.

''Yeah, I think so.'' She said, nodding. She looked at him, gave him a small smile.

''What happened in the alley?'' Matthew said, really worried.

''I – nothing. I was trying to help Antonio without his consent and the drug dealer he was after went after me. I was able to run away fast enough and luckily you were there.''

''Don't do that again, next time you might not be so lucky. Do you want me to call somebody?'' To be honest, he had no idea what to do. She said she was fine and he didn't want to keep asking, because he hated himself that people kept asking until he said he was awful.

''I will call a taxi.''

He frowned. ''I will bring you home. ''

''You would have to drive around, I live on the other side than where you need to go.''

''I know, but I want you to come home safe. Really, it is no problem.''

Dawson nodded. ''Thank you.'' She looked at his face, frowned. ''There is something on your forehead. I am afraid it might be my blood.''

He chuckled. ''No, it is my mom's lipstick.'' As fast as he could he grabbed a tissue from his big in the middle and wiped the lipstick away. Dawson laughed. Matthew started to car again.

''Do you remember where I life?''

He nodded. ''I think so.'' She smiled and looking out of the window again. ''Your legs are shaking. Are you having spasms a lot?'' She asked, looking at his legs.

''Usually, in the evening.'' He shrugged, not looking away from the road.

''Don't you have medication for the spams?'' She asked.

''I have, but they make me feel weak and awful. The spasms are a little uncomfortable at the times, but I prefer feeling a little uncomfortable than taking the medication.''

She nodded; ''Well, if you ever need anything, just tell me, I am sure I can arrange something. The lest I can do after tonight.''

Now he did look back at her, just for a second. ''Don't worry, it is fine. I am glad you are okay. Just, don't…ever do that again, okay? I am sure Antonio can handle himself and I am afraid nobody will be around next time. I was even doubting if I should stop or not.'''

''Did you hear my call for help, is that why you stopped?''

He nodded. ''Yes, but I was doubting for a second, knowing I am not really able to defend myself. When you called for help, were you running away?''

''Yes, but nothing happened in the end. Thank you.''

He smiled, parked the car in front of her apartment building.

''Do you want something to drink, before you drive home? Least thing I could do.'' She stepped out of the car and he hesitated if he should get out, looking around.

At first he wanted to accept her offer, but his eyes met the four steps he would have had to take on the stairs by the entrance.

''Afraid I can't accept.'' He said, nodding his head in the direction of the stairs.

''Sorry.'' She said, looking actually sorry.

''You didn't build those stairs. I will save it for Molly's.''

She nodded, walked to the entrance of the building. ''Thank you again, Matt!'' She waved one more time and walked inside of the building. He closed the car window again and drove back to Molly's to park his car, while the events of tonight were still replaying in his head.

…

''I wonder how Matthew is dealing with his break up with Hallie. At least, Kelly said they broke up.'' Shay sighed, behind the wheel of the ambulance.

Dawson swallowed the sandwich she had been chewing and looked up to Shay. ''He seemed okay yesterday. I had expected him to look worse after all.''

Shay looked aside, surprised. ''Did you see him yesterday?''

Dawson had just taken another bite of her sandwich so she nodded to answer and opened her mouth when it was empty. ''I ran into him and he brought me home.''

''How romantic.'' Shay said in a funny way.

''Shut up, you know I don't have feelings for him anymore. '' Dawson looked out of the window, only to hide from Shay that she was blushing. To be honest, she wasn't sure if what she felt was real love. But she had always been attracted to him and that feeling had taken over again yesterday. She had loved Mills for sure, but every time she had seen Casey, even when she was in a relationship, she felt attracted to him. Not just his looks, but also his kindness.

''He is free, you are free. This is your chance.''

''Oh shut up Shay. One more thing about it and I will call Debbie and give her your new number.''

Shay sighed. ''Good old Debbie. The only ex that even got me to chance my number.''

Dawson chuckled.

''But serious, I think you and Matthew would be a cute couple.''

''I am calling Debbie.''

Shay looked aside, annoyed. ''You should talk to Matt the next time he is at molly's, instead of staring at him for the whole evening.''

''I am going to call her right now.''

''Go ahead, who says that you have my correct number?'' Shay said with a wink.

…

With a deep sigh, Matthew gave up on putting his shoes on. He had hoped that he could clothe himself completely. He had been able to, but his shoes just wouldn't get on, while he had done it exactly as he had practiced. Clothing, moving to his chair, putting his foot on his other knee, loosening the shoelaces, pulling the shoe over his foot and knotting the laces, doing the same with the other shoe. Every time he tried to pull his shoe over his foot, his foot fell of his knee. His legs didn't do what he wanted and he got even more upset when he realized it didn't even feel like his own foot, but as if he was trying to put the shoe on somebody else's foot. Mad he pulled his left leg up again, putting the foot on his right knee and trying again. He just had to, he wanted to go home.

''What are you doing?'' Tamara, one of the woman from the staff was watching him in the doorpost.

''Playing basketball.'' He said, sarcastic. ''Sorry, didn't mean to take my anger out on you.'' He added when she frowned.

''It is fine, do you want me to help you, or do you want to keep trying?''

''Keep trying.'' He said, looking up confused when she sat down on the chair in the corner of his room.

''Well, go ahead.'' He tried again, cursing out loud.

''May I give you a hint?''

''No, I can do this.'' He grumbled.

Except for his cursing, the room was silent for a few minutes,

''Fine.'' He mumbled then. Tamara stood up, kneeled down in front of him. ''Put your leg on your knee again.'' He did so, looking at her. ''This is what I have been trying multiple times.

''Just try to hold your foot on your knee with one hand and put your shoe on with your other hand. I promise that will be easier.''

He followed her advise and a few minutes later he looked down on his neatly knotted shoes.

''See?''

''I am so dumb that I hadn't thought about that.'' He complained, picking the fabric of his pants with his fingers, not looking at Tamara.

''You were just upset, tomorrow is another day and you will be able to do it.''

He hit his knee with his fist. ''But I want to go home! I can care for myself and what are shoes when I can't even walk?''

''I know it might seem hopeless now, but Rome also wasn't build in one day and I am sure you will be able to go home soon.'''

He nodded, knowing that he could do nothing else than just agreeing.

''but Rome wasn't destroyed in a matter of seconds.''

''But Rome also got rebuild and I am sure you can rebuild yourself, too. Have you ever been to Rome?''

He nodded. ''A long time ago, I was still in school.''

''Well, then you know how beautiful Rome now is.'' She said, walking out with a smile.

….

''Here you go.'' Dawson put the beer in front of him.

''Thank you.'' He laughed, to be honest he hadn't expected her to still remember the promised beverage.

''Sorry, I have to stand behind the bar today, I will talk to you later.'' He nodded at Dawson, looked as she walked back to the bar.

He balanced the glass on his leg again and wheeled to the table he was usually sitting with Severide and Shay. ''Matt, good to see you here.''

''I have been here for nearly half an hour already, you must have been busy talking about something very importa-''

''We are having a baby.'' Shay interrupted him. For a moment he had to think; ''So, Kelly is going to be your donor?'' He asked.

Severide seemed to hide himself behind his glass, trying not to get eye contact with Matt.

''Yes.''

''Well, congratulations!'' He said with a big smile, happy to hear some positive news.

Dawson sat down on the other side of the table.

''So, what are you talking about. I suddenly remembered it was actually Otis day to stand behind the bar.''

Shay looked aside, rolled her eyes. Otis was standing cleaning some glasses, shaking his head in a very dry way, 20 dollar sticking out of his pocket.

''We were talking about the baby.'' She answered Dawson then. Dawson nodded. ''I wish you all the best.''

They took a few sips of their drinks.

''I might have found an apartment by the way.'' Matthew smiled. Today he had spend the day looking for apartments after his conversation with Tamara yesterday. She had been right that he was also responsible for the rebuilding.

''That is great, when are you moving in?'' Shay said.

''It needs some adjusting if I want to move in there, so until it is ready I will stay at the centre. I am also not completely ready to life on my own.'' He admitted.

''Well, it is sure getting closer now.''

He drank his beer, getting tired after the long search today. ''I am going back to the centre, I am getting pretty tired. Only drank one beer, so I should be able to take the car with me. Finally got my own parking space there.''

''Be careful though.'' He nodded. ''Somebody else wants to get home?''

''We are fine.'' Shay said, also pointing the empty seat Severide had been sitting, who had just gone to bathroom for a minute.

''I am actually really tired too.'' Dawson said, Shay winking at her without Matthew seeing it.

''I know where you life, you can drive along when you want.''

She nodded; ''I will owe you another beer.''

The drive to her apartment was less awkward than it had been last time and they were chatting for a few minutes after he had already parked the car on the parking lot in front of her apartment.

''Well, thank you for bringing me home again.''

He nodded. ''My pleasure, happy to see you get home safe, instead of running through alleys. Luckily the wound on your eyebrow was just a scratch.'' He said, pointing at it.

''Yeah, it was not that bad at all, could have been worse.'' She smiled at him.

She bow forward, lifting a little from her seat to avoid bumping into the wheelchair. Without losing eye contact she bow her head sideways and for a second she expected him to back off or kiss her on the cheek again, instead she suddenly met his lips and he kissed her back. A small, tender kiss. Not knowing how to react that he had returned her kiss, she grabbed her back and jumped out of the car, thanking him and slamming the door shut. Matthew would have jumped out of the car and ran behind her if he could, instead he looked how she disappeared in the building, still looking back to him a few times.

The last three minutes already blurred in his mind. He sighed and closed his eyes, laying back against the headrest. What if he would open his eyes and wake up in his bed?

Opening his eyes he still was in the car.

He had actually kissed Dawson.

….

Severide was running through the flaming building, somehow the address seemed so familiar and he was sure he had heard it before, but this was not the time to think about the address. From what he knew, there were still people inside. The flames were getting bigger and he knew that he had to get out soon, then he saw the silhouette laying on the floor behind the iron fencing. He had a hard time knocking it down, not even sure if the person on the other side was still alive. He kneeled down at the person, rolling her over carefully his breath seemed to get stuck in his throat.

….

''Matthew?''

Matt was struggling to sit up in the middle of night, phone in his hand.

''Yeah, I am here. Why are you calling so late?''

Kelly's breathing was hoarse and he was silent for a few seconds.

''There was a fire at Hallie's clinic. ''

A small sob sounded and Matthew didn't want to think about the news that was going to come right now.

…

NOTE: I didn't melt (yet)! Work nearly killed me but I just can't leave the story for one day…I am addicted to writing I guess! My way of surviving the heat – and eating. Eating a lot!- but it is a little bit cooler inside. But there is still the old crappy laptop I had to borrow since my computer is being repaired and it gives more warmth than the sun outside, but that is where my writing addiction pops up again – I am sweating just from breathing, so the extra heath doesn't matter.

so I hope you like it! I dozed off a few times while writing, hence the small scenes. But I couldn't fall completely asleep since it is too hot. Hope you also like that (the small scenes).

So, what did you think about the part of Casey and his shoes? Tamara is not a recurring character, but I needed somebody he could talk with for now. Try to keep this story as much OC-free as I can, although Danny might be recurring.

So, again, please review! J I am going to answer the previous ones now!

Hope you are looking forward to the next part!

X


	11. Chapter 11

Matthew didn't know how to feel, not at all. Even though he and Hallie had just broken up, her dead made him very sad. Her mother had called him, asking if he could help her to arrange Hallie's funeral. Hallie hadn't told her mom that they had broken up and Matthew had just hung up the phone, no idea how to respond, or if he should tell the woman who had just lost her daughter that they had broken up a few days before the fire. He hadn't spoken with Severide since he had called in the middle of the night. All he knew was that Severide was the one who pulled her out. What if he had still been a fire fighter? Could he have saved her?

He moved his hands through his hair, trying to keep himself from crying. His shoes were standing on the floor, but he couldn't find the energy to put them on.

There was a soft knock on the door. Severide peeked around the door.

''Is it okay if I come in?''

Matthew nodded, Severide pulled the chair out of the corner and sat down in front of Matthew.

''How are you holding up?'

''Okay, I guess.'' Matthew shrugged. ''How are you?'' He looked up to Severide.

''Holding up, I guess.'' Severide stood up.

''It is always hard to lose someone on the job. But having to carry someone outside, knowing the person is not going to make it while you actually know the person, nobody should ever need to do that.'' Severide mumbled, hands in his pockets.

Matthew nodded again.

''Dawson asked if it was okay if she called you soon.''

''Fine.'' Matthew said, very indifferent.

''She seems really worried about you. I understand you not the guy to show your feelings, but maybe you should to somebody.''

''No, I shouldn't feel this way. Hallie and I were over.''

''But you have loved the girl for almost 15 years.''

''But I hated her in the end.''

''I did too, but you can still care about somebody, even if you hate somebody.''

Matthew looked up to him. ''Her mom called me, if I could help arrange the funeral and I didn't know what to say and I still don't know what to do. She didn't know we had broken up.''

Severide laid his hand on Matthews shoulder.

''Maybe you should tell her you are not the right person to arrange the funeral, you don't have to tell about the break up, but just tell her that you can't. But I think you should go to the funeral, but that is just my opinion.''

''Hallie hated me, I don't think I should.''

''Believe me, she did still care about you. I will come with you if you want, if that supports you. But I think you should go, to get closure.''

Matthew's eyes started to fill with tears; ''If I hadn't changed the plans for the moving, she would have been in Arizona to keep an eye on the renovation of the house. She wouldn't have been here. If I hadn't been shot, she wouldn't even been in the states but still in South Africa.''

''Hey, don't blame yourself, you didn't cause the fire and you can't change the past. You didn't want her dead and the short-circuit causing the fire sure wasn't you fault. Don't blame yourself.''

''I can't think about anything else than the things I could have done to avoid her death.''

Severide frowned; ''Don't, it makes you feel awful. Maybe if I hadn't searched the other, empty, rooms first but ran to that room straight away, she would have been alive. But we can't blame ourselves. Remember the speech back in school? It is never your fault if you can't save a person and you did your job. Otherwise it will eat you away eventually.''

….

''how are you holding up?'' The voice sounded very emotional, even over the phone.

''Decent.'' He lied to his ex-mother in law, to be honest he felt awful, about Hallie's death, about everything.

''I had an idea for Hallie's fu-''

''I am sorry Darcy, I can't do it.''

He waited until she said something again, not knowing what to say. After it was silent for a long time he finally managed to say something;

''I really can't do it Darcy.''

''Is it because you and Hallie broke up?''

''Ho-how did you know?''

Darcy swallowed really loud, probably trying to contain her emotions.

''She told me not so long before the fire and she was so sad about it. She was hoping to win you back, even though she knew she had made big mistakes. She really loved you, Matt.''

He hung up the phone, staring at the screen. His feeling were killing him even more now he know Hallie had loved him and maybe wanted to solve the break up again they had been in. The phone was shaking in his hand but he didn't want to pick it up, afraid for what he was going to hear. After a few minutes and the ninth call of Darcy, he finally decided to pick up again.

''Matt, please listen to me. I can't compel you to help me arrange the funeral and I don't want to know if you don't feel good by doing it. I just ask you to come. It would mean a lot of me and I am sure it would have meant a lot to Hallie as well.''

''I will…but I am not sure if I can help you.''

Matthew hung up again, he couldn't stand the idea of him talking a woman he had always hated and now he didn't even understand why anymore. Somehow it seemed as if his whole life didn't make much sense anymore. Tears filling his eyes he looked through the contact list in his phone, not sure whom he should find comfort by. Shay? No, he didn't want to bother her with his problems, although his fingers doubted for second over the touch screen if he should tap her name. Continuing the list his finger kept resting above Dawson. Should he call her? He hadn't thought about the kiss they had shared three days ago, but he thought about it now. He doubted for a few minutes. What if she didn't want to talk to him? Or that she had made a mistake by kissing him?

He tapped the phone number, his heart pounding in his chest as he heard the small beeps telling him the phones were connecting.

But after a few beeps the voicemail came on and he pressed it away.

All he could do was finding comfort in himself, hoping he could find it.

….

Her coffin was filled with flowers when it was lowered down. He and Severide had both brought flowers as well, adding them to the big pile. Matthew had brought pink roses , which seemed to strike between the white flowers. But he knew that the pink roses were her favorites.

His legs had been shaking all day, as if the emotions had made the spasms worse. Between the speech of her parents Severide has even laid his hands on his knees; ''Calm down.'' But his body felt just as awful as his mental state.

For hours he had been listening to the speeches of people telling how Hallie was, or how they thought she was. Hallie's mother had still tried to get him to tell something about her, but he couldn't. He didn't know what to tell about a girl he had known for over a decade. He had just sat there with Severide in the back of the auditorium, staring at her coffin, in apathy.

Slowly he drove back to the centre in silence. The CD he was always listened to in the car was in multiple shards on the floor. When he had gotten in the car 'The River'' had begun playing and he couldn't help but think about the summer he and Hallie had been to Charleston together with his truck and the song had been playing in the car and Hallie had asked him to pick a different CD when they slept a night in Knoxville. He changed the CD, but somehow 'The River' always reminded him of that trip. When he couldn't handle the silence anymore he pressed on the radio, only to hear even more Bruce Springsteen and mad he hit the mute button, driving in silence again. Kelly had insisted multiple times that he could drive with him, afraid Matthew's emotions would keep him from driving safe, but actually the driving seemed to calm him down. He parked his car at the centre and got out, not greeting the people at the entrance, leaving to his room straight away. He got ready for bed realized he couldn't sleep, even he was tired after the exhausting day. Matthew sat on his bedside, the tears coming up again. His legs were thin and useless hanging down on the side of the bed. Weeks ago they still had been muscled and strong, now they were just skin over bones as his muscles had started to atrophy.

He heard footsteps over the hallway and not wanting Tamara or somebody else from the staff seeing him crying, he bow his head. Instead, the footsteps came closer and his left arm got touched by somebody sitting beside him on the bed. The tears started to flow out of his eyes now and he didn't want the person next to him to see them. With both of his hands, he wiped the tears away, nearly losing his balance and falling of the bed, but two hands grabbed his arms. Putting one arm back, he pushed the hands away with his other. He didn't want the person to see him crying.

''Shhh, it is okay. It is going to be okay.'' Two hands pressed his head against a shoulder. The fabric of her shirt smelled to apple, Dawson's perfume.

''It is going to be okay.'' Her voice said again.

But instead of pushing her away, he gave himself over to the arms, sobbing like he had never done before. One hand rubbed through his hair, the other over his back and for the first time since the shot that had changed his life, he felt true comfort.

''It is going to be okay Matthew, let it all go.''

….

NOTE: This chapter was so hard to write! I wanted it to be emotional but not too cliché. Did three versions of the chapter and this is the one I was most pleased with. But I still have the idea it was a little cliché. Hope you don't hate the chapter, I just wanted to add Hallie's death, since it is in the series and although it is an AU, still follow a little bit of the original storylines, although the cause of the fire was different than the one in the series, it really was just an accident in the story, while it wasn't in the series. Sorry it is so short, but I had no idea what I could add and since I have a very busy program next work I have no idea when the next chapter is coming. Work, my dad's big 50th birthday party which lasts 3 days and I am over at a friend in the big city in the weekend to go out with her so I have no idea when the next chapter will be coming because I have idea when I have any time to write. Maybe a chapter on the 6th of august, otherwise 12th of august. I hope you keep waiting though.

So…what do you think of Dawson comforting Matthew? Personally I am not a fan of Dawson/Casey, but I do think she fits in the story and I hope you keep reading even if you are not a fan of Dawson/Casey, although I am not sure if they are going to go the relationship-road J

One more question, do you think some of the characters are OOC? I hope you can tell me and be honest about it, because I would like to know!Anyway, hope you are willing to leave a review at all after all the work. It is really important for me, since it really encourages me to write! Especially since I wrote this chapter in Dutch 3 times and translated it after that. This is the best version I could make. Sorry.

X


	12. Chapter 12

His soft snoring made her smile. Luckily he hadn't woken up when she had moved him from her shoulder and had tucked him in. Dawson looked at the boyish face sleeping between the pillows. Her eyes looked at the big, strong hands laying on the blanket. He turned his hand a little, mumbling something in his sleep while he turned around, only for a small part. Her finger traced the clear scar on his wrist. He mumbled something again, nothing understandable and pulled his arm away. Was that while he was still wearing long shirts, even now the weather was getting better? She wanted to hug him, comfort him again, instead she stood up, to catch some sleep before her shift.

…..

''Severide was really upset when he came home and still he was worried about Matthew.'' Shay mumbled. Usually they joined the rest in the common room to share lunch together, but they had decided to talk in the ambo.

Dawson nodded. ''It must be very upsetting. I think it was a shock to all of us, but especially to them.''

Shay nodded. ''He wanted to go by the centre later to check if Matthew was doing okay…but he saw your car.''

Dawson looked up.

''Were you there?'' Shay asked her, squinting her eyes.

''I might have been.'' She didn't want to tell how broken Matthew had been, especially not to Shay since she would tell it so Severide and Severide wouldn't be able to breathe until he would have seen Matthew and talked to him.

''Was it romantic? Is the bed soft?'' Shay asked with a wink.

Dawson threw her sandwich on the plate on her lap, furious.

''Yes the bed was really soft when I had a grown up man laying in my arms, sobbing and broken.'' Realizing what she had said, she stepped out of the ambo to throw her plate away. Shay came running after her.

''hey, Hey! I am sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I thought you were already…you know, when he brought you home twice?''

''Not at all. We kissed once and I ran away because I didn't know how to react. The next day I didn't dare to call him and that night Hallie died.''

''I am sorry. I should have known better.''

''You should.'' Dawson nodded, leaning against the trashcan, immediately feeling sorry for taking her anger out on Shay.

''Are you going to visit him again tomorrow?''

Dawson shrugged. ''I am not sure, I don't want to come uninvited.''

But after the shift she drove to the rehabilitation centre right away, to peek how he was doing. But he wasn't there. Maybe he just went to see his mom. She drove home, to see her parking space was used by a pick up truck and with a smile she parked the car a few spots farther away. Walking to the car she saw him sleeping in the car, his head against the window and the radio still playing loud. For a moment she doubted if she should wake him, but she wasn't sure is somebody could break in the car while he was asleep. The car locked from the inside though and she knocked against the window, waking him up immediately. He muted the radio and lowered the window.

''Hey.'' He smiled.

''Glad to see you here, wanted to check on you in the centre and you were gone, nobody knew where you were.''

''I want to thank you for last night.''

Dawson opened the car. ''I would like to invite you into my place, but I think you don't want me carrying you inside. Maybe we can go to Mol-''

''I can manage the stairs, don't worry. Are you sure you aren't too tired from your shift?''

She shook her head. Carefully Matthew opened the door and put his chair down, lifting himself in. ''I asked for some help how I should do this. You still owe me a drink too.'' He said, with a small smile.

''True, I have some wine.''

''Joking, I am not drinking alcohol, I still have to drive home.'' He stopped at the stairs. ''Can you carry my chair up the stairs?'' Slowly he lowered himself down to the ground, lifting himself up step by step and glad he could return into his own chair. Dawson opened the door for him.

''Don't worry, there is an elevator.'' She walked down the hall, pressing on the elevator button.

''hmmm, the building is at least a little Matthew-friendly.''

''I hope you can move around in my apartment, it is pretty small and messy.'' She apologized.

''I am sure it won't be a problem.'' The elevator arrived and Dawson pressed on the button for the third floor. He had been in the apartment before, when she had invited him for dinner but it was so long ago he couldn't even remember what it looked like.

''Your legs are shaking again.'' She acknowledged and puzzled he looked at her, given the fact she wasn't facing him. He looked down, saw his right foot ticking against her calf. ''I am sorry.'' He said, wheeling a little backward.

'' I didn't mean it that way, I was just afraid you felt awkward, resulting in spasms.''

''No, but I hadn't even known that I was kicking you if you hadn't told me.'' He bow forward, pulling some straps from the footrests over his shoes, pulling them tight.

''Now, be good to her.'' He said very dry, pointing at his legs. Dawson chuckled. ''They better be good to you.''

''I think they should be good to you, given the fact I don't feel it when they kick you.''

She lead the way to her apartment. ''Welcome to my crib'' She mumbled, opening the door for him. He wheeled trough the narrow hallway to the small kitchen. ''We are still on the wall of fame.'' He smiled, looking at the picture they had made when he was over for dinner.

''Do you want to have dinner here tonight? I was thinking about making some pizza. You must be craving for something else than the healthy food in the centre.''

He nodded; ''if you don't mind me staying over?''

''No, I like to have you here. Besides, I can't a whole pizza myself. I am just going to chance really quickly, okay? You can get whatever you like.'' Matthew nodded again. After she left he looked around the kitchen. He tried to grab one of the drinking glasses from the shelf but he couldn't reach it. He tried another time, realizing he couldn't reach because of the belt around his waist, which he used to keep his balance more easily. He decided to wait until Dawson was back, before he would knock one off the shelf.

''You want a glass?'' Dawson came walking back in, wearing a T-shirt and jeans now. ''That was quick.'' He said, surprised. ''Told you it would be quick.'' She handed him a glass.

''What can I get you?''

''Just water.'' He wheeled to the sink and put some water from tap in the glass, but most of the water ended up on his shirt instead of in the glass, as it splashed away on the side of the glass.

''Sure.'' He sighed. ''I can put it in the dryer if you like. I am sure I have something that fits you.''

He doubted for a few seconds. Finally he pulled his shirt of his head and threw it at Dawson, who walked out of the kitchen without really looking at him. Without his shirt, he felt vulnerable without the shirt, knowing the scars were visible. A few moments later he heard her coming in again and he bow foreward, as if he was leaning on his arms, just to keep his wrists from showing.

''T11?'' She suddenly asked.

He turned his head, looking at her. ''T10.'' He mumbled, realizing she was looking at the scar on his back. ''Incomplete, but with minimal to none function or feeling.''

She nodded, handed him the shirt. It was a plain black male T-shirt.

''Antonio stayed here for a few nights after he was shot.'' She explained.

''The shirt for the shot.'' Matthew joked, putting it over his head. It was pretty tight, but it fitted well enough. ''Thank you.'' He bow forward again, leaning on his arms.

''Is something wrong?''

''No.'' he said, sitting upright again, but putting his hands between his knees.

''You don't want me to see your wrists.'' She said. His face seemed to break; ''how do you know? Did Kelly tell you?''

''No, I saw the scars last night when I put you in bed. Sorry, matt. But don't feel uncomfortable about it here.'' She kneeled down in front of him, touched his hands. He pulled his hands back again.

''It was a dumb thing to do.'' He looked aside, tears filling his eyes.

''it was, but it is nothing to be ashamed off.'' She laid her hand on one of his. ''It is okay.''

''Thank you, Gabriella.'' He smiled.

…

Her hair also smelled to apples. Her hair was only an inch away from his nose as they were laying down on the cough, watching a Blackhawks game. They had given up the plan on making their own pizza and decided to order some. She laid against his chest, sitting between his legs. He was leaning in the corner of the modern sofa. For a moment he had doubted if he could wrap his arms around her, but he was afraid to disturb the moment. He was sharing the moment physically with Dawson, his mind drifted off to Hallie from time to time. Was it really fair from him to become so intimate with somebody again so soon? Was it respectful to her? Maybe not, but they had already broken up before her death.

''Catch!''

An M&M hit him on the forehead and he could catch it just before it landed on Dawson's head.

''You are supposed to catch them with your mouth.'' She mumbled without looking away from the game.

''You are supposed to share a little more.'' He joked, reaching his arm out, trying to grab some from the package standing by his foot. She grabbed it and held it out for him. He grabbed a handful and they returned to watching the game.

''If it uncomfortable sitting like this? Just say it when it is.''

''Not at all. I am just eating your hair now and then.''

The doorbell rang and Dawson jumped up, running towards the door. She came walking back with a large box. ''Should be enough for the both of us.'' She moved the coffee table in the corner of the sofa and sat at the end of the longer part now, shoving his feet a little aside.

''What is wrong? You seem really absent.''

''Nothing, I was just thinking about everything and nothing.''

''Sounds poetic. Are you worried I want a relationship straight away?''

''I don't know. I feel a little guilty towards Hallie.''

She nodded. '' I thought so. That is your call to make. I hope you realize you have to continue with your life, If that is with me or somebody else. Tomorrow or next year. But you can't keep feeling guilty to somebody who is gone. ''

He nodded. ''I just think I am not really relationship-material. ''

''Why not?''

''Well, everything.''

Trying to end the conversation he grabbed a part of pizza, taking a big bite.

''Are you afraid I will dump you because of your injury?''

Hammer on the nail.

''Could be.'' He just answered.

''Do you think I actually care about that? I always admired you, even loved you, but I never dared to tell you and when I finally asked you out and wanted it kiss you, you didn't kiss back.''

''I felt guilty that time, again. Hallie and I had just broken up and we hadn't even talked about it.''

''I know, but it doesn't matter. I am just saying, nothing has changed in the way I feel about you.''

He smiled; ''Are you really so sure about that?''

''I know things have changed, but I haven't and I know that deep inside, you didn't either. You actually managed really well, you didn't become bitter and I know that this all is new to you and to everybody around you, but nothing changed.''

He swallowed the pizza, ready to say something but she interrupted him.

''And I went to med school, I know what things happen after a Spinal Cord Injury, but honestly. I don't care, I just want to be with you.'' She pressed herself against his chest. Matthew pressed his head against hers, breathing the apple smell in and out.

''I want to be with you.'' He said. ''But let's just try it first, before we yell we are a couple.''

Somehow, he hoped that that would help to maintain their relationship, without other people asking how happy they were together and expected them to always be together.

''Seems like a good idea.''

''But you know everything, that helps a lot, that I don't have to explain about everything.'' He sighed relieved.

''You don't have to be ashamed of anything, although I know that is easier said than done.''

''Let's just eat now, before we start talking about catheters.'' He said, grabbing another part of the pizza.

He wish he could stay forever on the sofa, just smelling her hair and listening to her breathing but unfortunately he had to go back to centre. Walking back to the car with him she kissed him before he drove away. She suddenly realized how cold it was for day in this time of the year and she walked back inside, seeing somebody standing under one of the lights on the parking lot, slowly walking in her direction,

The last few steps she ran, creeped out. As she pulled the door of the building shut behind her the person walked away.

She recognized the way of walking, but couldn't recall who it was. Running upstairs as the elevator wasn't down at the first floor she locked the apartment door behind her.

''Calm down Gabriella.'' She whispered to herself. Trying to recall the walk, but the only thing she could remember was that the person had been following her at the alley as well.

…

NOTE: I just wanted a sweet chapter after all the drama. Might a be a little boring chapter for none Dawson/Casey fans (Like me, but the romantic person I am (achum achum) I was very pleased to write it) I hope you like it anyway and there are still a lot of ideas with action coming up in the upcoming chapters. I also wanted to have more emotional talk in a chapter, also how Casey felt about his injury and his insecurity. Nah okay, not entirely sweet, as for the ending. But I like building up some tension.

So, what do you think, will their relationship last?

Non – Dawson/Casey fans, I hope you keep reading, since this story is not just going to be romantic, I just wanted to bring them together first, before continuing with action, drama and the friendship between Severide and him and of course the baby!

I hope I will see you back next week, when I am back in the land of the sober after 5 days of mad partying. (Not saying it is impossible that I post earlier, but the chance is really really really small.)

Thanks for reading! Please leave a review!

x


	13. Chapter 13

The apartment was small, but big enough for him to life in, he was sure of that. For a moment he doubted if he was able to pay the rent, but he was looking for a job anyway. Matthew looked through the living room, bright by all of the windows looking out over the street under the apartment.

''I will take it.''

After he made a deal with the estate agent, he called Dawson.

''I took it, the apartment. It is adapted so well I will be able to move in without adjusting.'' He said, into her voicemail since she was on shift. She would hear it afterward and hopefully they would be celebrating tonight. They had made no plans for living together or being open about their relationship, because neither of them wanted to hurry it. They first wanted to get to know each other a little bit better, even if that meant that they also would get to know each other less pleasant sides. Not more than three days and he would be here, ready to life on his own, but also doubt came to his mind, was he actually capable of living alone again?

He had just arrived at the centre when his phone rang, knowing Dawson was ready with her shift. A week ago, he had visited her and they had told each other their feelings about each other. Now they tried to spend every moment together.

''Hey Matt, really great about the apartment.''

''I know, happy when I get to actually move in there.''

''So…are we celebrating tonight?'' She asked, as if she could read his mind.

''Will you go out for dinner with me?''

''if you drive, yes.'' She chuckled over the phone.

''Fine, I pick you up at seven.'' He said, looking at the clock, seeing he had another hour left.

As fast as he could, he went to the shower, showering very quick, putting on a plain white shirt and one of the jackets that didn't look too folded. Struggling with his jeans, but he didn't want to ask somebody for help at the centre, knowing he had to do it himself soon, as he moved to the new apartment. Only five minutes past seven, he parked at the parking lot by Dawson's place. Before he was shot, he could dress up In less than half an hour, now it took him at least an hour.

''Your taxi has arrived, madam.'' He said, reaching out to open her door.

''Oh, what a gentleman you are, arriving too late.'' She sighed with a smile.

''My pants were so jealous that I was taking you out instead of them that they didn't want to agree with me. '' He said, driving away from the parking lot.

''So, what food do you like?''

''I like nearly everything.'' She shrugged.

''Do you like sushi?''

She smiled; ''That is my favorite food.''

''Great, I was thinking about eating some sushi.'' He smiled, parking at the parking lot not so far form her house.

''Do you know this restaurant?'' She nodded; ''I take a lot of take-away sushi here. At least twice a month.''

''Glad you like it.'' He smiled, lifting the wheelchair out of the car and getting in.

''You look great, by the way.'' He smiled, blushing when he saw her pretty dress.

''it is pretty hot outside, why are aren't you clothed more the temperature? You look like we are out of Christmas dinner, although it does look good on you. I could take you to my parents like this.''

''When am I going to meet your parents?'' He smiled.

''They life about an hour away, so I have no idea.''

''I am not wearing shorts because I don't want too and I would like to meet your parents if you want to be serious with me.''

She nodded. ''I am sure we will meet them soon. We could have a weekend out, since there is a large holiday park with little cabins close to them. Very cozy.'''

''Sounds good.'' He smiled, as they finally entered the restaurant.

''I will see if I can book there for next weekend. I haven't used days off in such a long while that Boden just has to give me off.''

''I will check if I can get a weekend off in the centre, they don't like it when I am gone, so it might be a little bit of struggle, but I will call you tomorrow about it.''

A few minutes later, they were sitting at their table, candle in the middle. Matthew was glad that the table was high enough for him to sit without any problem.

''How are your parents acting to your boyfriends?'' He asked, finally daring to ask the question that he hadn't dared to ask since he had started the subject of the in-laws.

''I am sure they will like you and if they like you, they are very nice and welcoming. But tell me something more about my in-laws.''

''My dad is dead and my mom is kind of eccentric, but she is not a wrong person.'' She kind of was, but he was not going to tell Dawson without meeting his mother first. As she was still being together with Vaughn, as she wrote in the last mail, she deserve red Dawson meeting her before she knew what had actually happened to his dad.

''I am sorry about your dad. Was he sick?''

Matthew just nodded, not wanting to make the situation more complicated with telling what his mother had done. They ordered their drinks and food as the waiter came by and continued the conversation about the apartment, Matthew telling everything that he was thinking about doing, about the furnishing and was watching if he approved, since they had kind of the same taste, she did.

''I really hope we can go out next weekend.''

She was moving her glass over the table. ''I hope so and if we do and our relation is still as it was before we went there, maybe we can tell the rest. It is getting annoying, hiding that I am seeing you for the rest of the station and I am pretty sure that they will be supporting us.''

''let's go first before thinking about making it public, what if it goes wrong?''

''Why are you so afraid it will go wrong?'' She said, puzzled.

''I am not, I just want to make sure that our relation is strong enough before making it public.''

She nodded. ''Fine, I just hope that we don't have to try forever, but that we can make it official one day.''

''I am sure we can.'' He smiled as the food was served.

They ate in silence, enjoying the meal.

''So, our first holiday is coming up.'' He smiled.

''I would be more worried to see the in-laws than I would be excited for the holiday'' She mumbled, with a small smile.

''I hope they will like me, if not, then I hope you still like me, since you are the one who is together with me, not your parents.''

She smiled. ''They will like you, you are a gentleman compared to the tug I have dragged to them before.''

''I am a gentleman?'' He laughed. ''I can't even open a door for you without blocking the way.'' He added, serious now.

''I didn't just mean opening doors . I meant that they will like your personality. Especially the no-bullshit attitude. Also, you are very sweet.''

He smiled, picking up a salmon maki with his chopsticks. ''I guess we will be eating sushi a lot if it is both our favorite food.'' She said, pointing at the portion he had already eaten.

''I really love it, but it is so expensive I don't think we could eat it every week.''

He confessed.

''I know, but we will manage. If we are really really really serious we could move in together, would safe double rent.''

''I – I am not ready for that, sorry.''

''I know, I was meaning in a few months. Not now, not at all. Is it because of Hallie?''

''Maybe.'' He shrugged. But it was about Hallie, for sure. She kept popping up in his mind and made him feel awful for dating Dawson. He knew he shouldn't have nightmares but the image of her being carried outside by Severide kept replaying gin his head, even though he hadn't been there. His dreams also made him see the accident trough his own eyes, going through all the scenarios in which he could have saved her, but the truth was that he never could have. Even if he had still been a fire fighter, Hallie probably had really passed away due to the smoke before they even arrived.

He brought himself back to now, now that he was sitting in a restaurant with Dawson.

''I need to go to the bathroom.'' He said a little awkward, after looking at his watch. He didn't even feel when he had to go the toilet, he just needed to keep watching when he should catheter again. He left for the bathroom, knowing Dawson didn't mind, but still it felt awkward. At least he didn't have to explain it to her and she was very supportive. After he came back, they finished their sushi and left for home.

''I just have to pick up something really quick.'' Matthew stopped at the centre, getting out of the car and leaving a puzzled Dawson behind. After a few minutes he returned with a large bunch of flowers, opening the door on her side and handing the flowers.

''That is so sweet.'' She sighed, kissing him on the forehead. ''You shouldn't ha-''

''I am not taking them back.'' He said with a wink, getting into the car on the other side again.

She kept smelling them the whole way, until he parked on the parking lot.

''Do you think you could be my date for the firehouse BBQ in three weeks?'' She asked, knowing he was probably going there anyway, because a lot of people were coming, even though he wasn't a fire fighter anymore, but having belonged to the 51 family was enough to be welcomed.

''Sure, I think so.'' But he could hear the doubt in his voice. He wanted to, but he was still afraid to ruin it, suddenly thinking about something they hadn't done.

''So, goodnight.'' They kissed, he leaned into her. He hoped she would ask him to sleep over, but he didn't dare to ask. ''I will go the building with you. It still very far away and late.'' He said, than, getting out of the car again. Usually he parked on her spot, as her car was usually at the station and she ran or walked home, but this time it was there. Close to the building, Dawson breathing got hastily as she saw the shadow again, watching them from one the streetlights, closer than the one she had been seeing him under before.

''He is following me.'' She said, panicked.

''Wait.'' He got up the stairs, as the person was walking towards the building. Before he could reach them, Matthew got inside and closed the apartmentbuildings door, knowing it wasn't possible to enter it without a key. They went up to her apartment, while she softly started to cry. '' I have no idea who it is. but he has been following me for some time now.'' She confessed.

''it is okay, I will keep you safe tonight.'' His heart pounding in his chest as if it was going to explode, this wasn't what he had meant at all when he had thought that he would have liked to sleep over.

Now it is my turn to protect her…. He slowly thought as he was comforting her.

…

NOTE: THIS is what happens when you sleep above a café. Well, let's see it as an advantage, I have more time to write. Although it is short, but I am dozing off right now, hopefully to fall asleep soon.

So, who do you think the person is who is following them? Also, how will there weekend go and will the in-laws like Matthew?

I hope you like this chapter although not much has happened! Some news about the updating too, I was supposed to go away with a friend this weekend, but we moved it to next weekend, so this weekend the story will be updated anyway. No idea when though. I want to write a longer chapter after this short one.

So, goodnight/morning, I hope you can leave a review about what you think and if the characters are OOC. Hope to wake up with a mailbox full!

Thanks for reading!

x


	14. Chapter 14

''So, you are gone for the weekend with your mom?'' Severide took a sip from his drink, looking at Matthew. Matthew nodded. ''yes, we are going to a small holiday park, so I can get to know my stepfather a little bit better.'' He lied. In the corner of his eyes he could see Dawson behind the bar, wearing the new Molly's T-shirt.

''Interesting, since Dawson is also going away with her parents to holiday park this weekend.''

How could he have known that she was going to use the same lie?

''I think you and Dawson are going together, aren't you?''

''Don't tell anyone!'' He said to Severide, looking if somebody was listening.

''Sweet.'' Severide smiled. ''Will she be moving in with you?''

''I don't know, I don't want to hurry things. It seems better that I life on myself for a few weeks before she moves in. We are not together that long yet.''

Severide nodded. ''I am happy for you.''

Dawson also sat down. ''Can I drive home with you, Matthew? I think the last bus already left.''

''Don't have to think of an excuse, I know about you.'' Kelly smiled. ''hope you have a nice weekend.'' He stood up, walking to Shay.

''Did you tell him?'' Dawson squinted with her eyes. ''no, he was suspecting it, because you also told him that you were going away this weekend. But it is okay, he won't tell anyone.''

''Casey!'' Boden came walking up to him. ''Haven't seen you in so long, how are you doing?''

''Good to see you chief, I am doing good!''

Boden said down on his right. ''So, I heard you are moving into a new apartment in two weeks.''

''True, also very close to the station.''

''Casey, I am sorry to bring it up but I think we need to talk soon about-''

''About my dismissal, I know. I will come to the station soon.'' He knew it was coming, unavoidable.

''Maybe we can arrange something, I could use somebody in the office who also knows a lot about fires and also the practice.''

Casey nodded; ''Sounds good, we will talk about it.'' He was happy if he didn't need to look for something he didn't care about, to be honest there were not a lot of jobs available that interested him with the schooling he had. If he could stay in the fire house, he was happy with everything he could get.

''I should go soon, it is getting late.'' Boden said, looking at his watch. ''It was great to see you.''

''Likewise, see you soon.'' He smiled at Boden, turning to Dawson. ''Do you want to go soon as well?''

She nodded and they said their goodbyes to everyone. Together they left, knowing it wouldn't be strange since he was bringing her home more often.

He lifted himself in the car, still sitting sideways when Gabriella grabbed his hands, letting them go again and laying her hands in his neck.

''So, how late do I have be ready Friday?''

''I think I am going without you.'' Casey smiled.

''You wish you could, but I have the reservation.''

''Then, I guess I pick you up around eleven. You are free on Friday, right?''

She nodded, kissing him on the mouth.

''I can't wait for the weekend.'' Dawson whispered, smiling as she kissed him again. Their attention was suddenly drawn to a whistle. Matthew looked over Dawson's shoulder to see Hermann , Otis and Shay looking at them, Severide popping up behind them. Hermann and Shay seemed surprised, while Otis still had his fingers in his mouth from the loud whistle. ''Nothing to see.'' Severide said, pushing the other three forward, Shay to his own car and the others to Hermann's car, were they started lifting a few boxes from the trunk. Casey started the car and drove away.

Their phones were beeping at the same time. ''Probably the House 51 Whatsapp spreading the news.'' He sighed. Dawson pulled her phone from her pocket.

''Casey is going to get so laid tonight…hope that he will also give some pleasure to Dawson. Oh Otis, the next time I see you I will give you some pleasure'' She grumbled, typing.

''Relax, at least we will be gone for the weekend and I am sure the storm has gone down after that.''

His phone kept beeping while he drove to Dawson's house.

''I have one more shift before the weekend. '' She said looking up.

''Poor you. Am I missing something in the Whatsapp?'' He said, looking to her side. Now he was getting used to the driving he wasn't so tense anymore and dared to look aside every now and then.

''I am just threatening Otis that a brick to the face is the sort of pleasure awaiting for him.''

''Be kind to the forever alone guy.'' Matthew chuckled. He parked the car by Dawson's building, also grabbing his phone and typing in the Whatsapp. After a few seconds Dawson started to laugh.

''You might say that they were right but we are still not sleeping together, since I am not allowed to sleep at the centre and you are not allowed to stay away for the night.''

''They don't know that.'' He said, with a wink.

''Do you see anyone in the parking lot?'' He looked around.

''No, I think you can walk safe. I think it was a joke after all. Wouldn't surprise me if Otis maybe knew already, trying to scare us.''

''Do you really think he would do that?''

Matthew shrugged. ''Maybe, but the coast is clear. See you Friday.'' She walked to the building and the drove away when he saw a light popping on her apartment. To be honest, he was sure that it hadn't been Otis, Otis would never do that. But when he was calming her down a few days ago, he had acknowledged that she was calm as long as he was. Maybe it had just been coincidence and they could brush it off as a joke.

….

''The holiday express.'' He smiled when she stepped in the car, putting her bag on top of his.

''It is getting pretty tight in here.'' She was squashed between the bags and the side of the car.

''Sorry.''

''it is cozy.'' She took the GPS of the dashboard, entering the address. They were lucky with the traffic and left Chicago without too much trouble.

''What is this?'' They were driving over a rural road. She was holding one of the shards from the CD. He thought he had gotten them all out, but apparently there was one more her side.

''Nothing, it was a CD, but I dropped it.''

Yeah, with all the emotion in it, throwing it to the ground as hard as he could. The box had sprung open, the shards falling out.

She held up the box of the CD, a large crack in the plastic. ''I have this one as well, somewhere in my apartment, when I find it, you can have it.''

''I – no thanks. To be honest, I threw the CD in shards, the evening you comforted me.''

''It reminded you of Hallie?''

He nodded, not looking aside. ''I always listened it to it in the car, for years and she hated it. It was a kind of our CD for years. I also asked her to marry me at a Springsteen cover band concert. We missed out a real concert of the Boss. So the CD didn't just remind me of her, it was our CD.''

''I am sorry.''

''Don't be, it was a just a CD. Like I said, she hated it anyway.''

He concentrated on the road again. After a few seconds he turned to her again. ''How was everyone to you on your last shift?''

She shrugged. ''Had expected it worse, of course, they were teasing but everyone seems to happy for us as well. ''

''Good.''

Sooner than they expected, they arrived at the holiday park. Opening the door they were amazed by the light falling through the glass side of the cabin, not needing to put on any lights. As far as they could see, they only saw the small lake by their cabin.

''You didn't tell me there was a lake.''

''I told you to take your swimwear.''

''You are not getting me into that water, woman!'' He smiled, moving to the bedroom. To be honest, he just didn't dear to wear the shorts because he was afraid of people looking at his atrophied legs. The bedroom was also very light, made out of glass on one side.

''Awesome…but isn't a little bit open?'' He said, carefully.

''Oh, I also forgot to tell you that it is our private lake. All the other cabins are at other lakes. You may thank me later.'' She said, laying her arms around him from behind.

''How can I ever pay this back to you?''

''Oh, I also forgot to tell you. My parents own this holiday park.'' With a large smile she walked to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water. Matthew started to unpack his bag, joining her in the kitchen when he was ready.

''I though you said your parents were doing ''something with tourism.'''' Matthew mumbled, still looking around through the large cabin.

''Well, a holiday park is something with tourism.''

''Should I be afraid that they can walk in every minute?''

''No, they are coming here to BBQ, they are in the office now.''

Matthew nodded. ''Sounds good.''

''Don't worry, the office is a few miles away, they also life a few miles away. They only still own it and do small things in the office, everything else is run by other people, so they won't be bumping in here and the only way they know what we are going here is if we burn the place down.''

''I think it is too hot to use that fireplace anyway.'' He said, pointing at the fireplace in the corner of the room.

''Sorry I didn't tell you, about my parents.''

''I understand, no need to be story. I'd also rather be sure if somebody likes you without knowing about what the family does.''

''To be sure, what does your mom do?''

He shrugged. ''Good question, I have no idea.''

''Why don't you know?''

''I didn't want to tell you this before you met my mom, but since it has the same reason as yours, not wanting to be judged or loved because of your family, in my case judged. My mom went to prison, only got out recently.''

Dawson sat down on a chair, so they were on the same eye-level.

''Do you want to tell me what she got arrested for?''

''Maybe it would be better if you meet her first, she is really not a wrong person and-''

''I know, if you don't want to tell it, it is fine, but I really won't settle her for what she has done. I just would like to know, maybe to understand why you aren't close to your mom. ''

Casey was silent for a few seconds, sighed then; ''She murdered…my dad.''

The room was suddenly silent, both not knowing what to do.

''I am…sorry.'' She stuttered after a long silence.

''My dad wasn't an angel either, that is why I can still be with her without hating her. But if it hadn't been her killing him, I'd probably have done it.''

''It is okay if you don't want to tell more, just tell what you want me know.''

''There is not much to tell, they hated each other, their marriage was a time bomb and the only reason that they still were together was me and my sister. He wanted me to go in the army to serve this country and I wanted to go to fire school. He kept insulting me and when my sister and mom stood up for me, he would swear the living shit out of them. I can't say that what my mom did was a good thing, it should have been settled with divorce papers. But he would never sign those, so somewhere, I can't blame mum. But my sister can't forgive her and that is why I see my sister only rarely.''

Dawson nodded. ''I understand. In the end, she still was defending her kids.''

He shrugged and nodded at the same time. ''Kind off, she never planned it. One night things got so out of hand me and Christie fled to our uncle a few blocks away. My mom came there, telling us that everything would be fine. We went to bed there, hoping everything would be better, just to be woken up by sirens. My uncle never forgave himself for leaving his pistol in the kitchen, she saw it and took it, otherwise he probably wouldn't be dead now.''

''Did your dad ever abuse you?''

Casey shook his head. ''Not in a physical way, but he kept insulting us, swearing at us, telling us we were worthless and that I was a shame to the family, since most of the males had served the military.''

''He did abuse you, mentally.''

''Well, that is about it. I stay in touch with my mom by email. Sometimes I text Christie, but only on birthdays and to ask how my little niece is doing in school. I would go to the zoo with her once a year, but I couldn't go last year because of a sudden call from Boden, you remember the big apartment building? I remember you were called to come as well, anyway, I couldn't take her and Violet and Christie never forgave me.''

Suddenly there was knock on the door.

''Wow, what time is it?'' Dawson jumped from the chair, looking at the clock on the wall.

''Crap, three already, my parents. ''

''Shi…I will join you in a few minutes. I really need to put on something better for you parents.'' He said, pointing at his overly washed T-shirt.

He had just reached the bedroom when he could hear Dawson opening the door, greeting her parents. Somehow, he could have expected Dawson to come from a better family after her brothers Christmas party. Quick he grabbed one of his shirts and a black jacket, went to the living room.

Dawson looked exactly like her mom, who approached him first and gave him a quick hand; ''Jeanet Dawson.''

''Matthew Casey.''

Her dad came walking towards him now. ''Nice to meet you, Matthew, I am Charles Dawson, Gabriella's dad.''

Somehow, Matthew wasn't sure if Charles said it so obvious and slow because that was the way he always talked, or because Matthew was in wheelchair. He had already acknowledged some people he hadn't met before assumed he was slow.

''Likewise, thank you for letting us stay here.''

''Let's sit outside, Matthew was just leaving to get us some drinks from the shop, we arrived a little later than expected.'' Dawson nodded.

''Oh yeah, sure. What can I get you?'' He said a little surprised. Her dad frowned. Not good.

''We brought everything with us, we had expected that you had no time to go shopping yet.''

''Do I need to help with bringing the bags inside?'' Matthew asked.

''I am sure Gaby can help as well.''

''I am pretty sure I can help as well.'' He nodded, hoping her dad would understand that he wasn't dumb nor useless. Maybe not the most diplomatic way to talk to your father in law, though.

''Me and mom will set everything up outside.'' Gabriela interrupted them. Saved by the bell.

Together with her dad we went outside. ''So Matthew, what work are you doing?'' He said, not looking down at Matthew.

'''For the moment I am still rehabilitation, but as soon as I am out, I can hopefully start working in the office of the fire house, otherwise I am thinking about retraining.''

They went to a big black jeep. The dad opened the trunk and handed him a big box with drinks. Casey put it on his lap and looked how the dad pulled several plastic backs out, closing the trunk again.

''Do I need to take any of the bags?''

''No, it is fine.''

Matthew didn't dare to say anything when they returned to the cabin.

Gabriela and her mom sat outside on the porch by the lake. They joined. When all the drinks were served and they finally sat all together the interrogation continued, as he had expected.

''When did you meet Gabriela?'' Her mom asked.

''I think…three years ago, when she started working in the same fire house as I work.''

''That was two years ago. '' Dawson corrected him.

''So, you were a fire fighter?'' Her dad said, finally seeming a little impressed.

Matthew nodded. ''Like I said, I hope being able to stay working in the fire house.''

''When did you have to stop working as a fire fighter?'' Her mom asked, carefully.

Nobody actually seemed to dare to ask the question direct.

''Since January this year.'' He couldn't believe it was only a little less than half a year ago. It seemed so much longer. Usually he would just tell it now, but he was wondering if they would dare to ask him.

''What happened?'' Her dad said. At least they dared.

''I was shot.'' He said, curtly.

''There was a neighborhood gang tried to break in, he came running by and interfered, he saved the chiefs life.'' Dawson said. Her parents both nodded.

''Your son also worked on the case, to get the boys arrested. He is a great cop.'' Matthew said, hoping that they liked him flattering their son.

Luckily, Dawson changed the subject to Antonio now and he went to the bbq, grilling the meat while they were talking. He was happy he didn't need to think about what he said every time. After her parents left, they stayed on the porch for one more drink.

''Sorry about my parents. ''

''Why the sorry?''

''How my dad behaved to you in the beginning.''

Matthew laughed it off. ''That was total normal reaction. I was at a shop recently and the cashier walked with me the whole time, telling me what everything was a grabbed it. Besides, they couldn't have known and later on, I really liked talking with them.''

''you were busy preparing the meat.''

''Well, I liked listening to it.''

Gabriela smiled. ''let's go to bed soon.''

He blew the candle on the table out, went inside with her.

''Can't promise anything about how my body will be behaving.'' He said as they reached the bedroom, blushing.

''I know, but I am sure sleeping together will be great, even if it is just cuddling.'' She smiled at him, dropping her shirt on the shirt, sitting down on his lip, facing him.

He kissed her, knowing this was the night he couldn't love her more.

….

NOTE: I am not sure if Casey ever told Dawson about his mom being in prison…I think he did when she was allowed to leave, but in this universe, he never did. Usually I would look through the series to be sure, but my borrowed laptop takes 10 seconds to load one second of the video. So, that is not really an option, sorry.

Oh and shoot! I thought Antonio was Dawson's cousin instead of brother, sorry if I made that mistake in the previous chapters. I really need to rewatch Chicago Fire!

I hope you liked this chapter! I know the last chapter was pretty bad and I hope I made up with this one.

I am looking forward to writing the next chapter of their holiday! Hope you are looking forward as well!

Hope the last part wasn't to mature for a T rated story. If you want to read about their bedtime, I will write it as a separate one-shot, to keep this one T rated and the other one mature rated. Please tell me if you are interested for that! I never did it before, but I would like to try once. Usually I am not so into the stuff...but hey...need to try everything once.

Thank you for reading, please review what you thought about this chapter!

X


	15. Chapter 15

Instead of waking up from the traffic sounds in Chicago, or by the staff in the centre, he woke up in complete silence. He looked out of the glass wall, over the quiet lake. Now he did hear some sounds from the kitchen. Matthew got up and went to kitchen, to find Gabriella baking pancakes.

''Morning, smells good.'' He greeted her. She looked up, smiling.

''Morning, made you some bacon pancakes, hope you like them.'' He nodded, wheeled to the table, which she already prepared.

''My parents called me this morning. They liked you. My mom just told me to tell me she is happy I finally found a decent guy.''

He smiled nodded. Gabriella walked away from the stove, toppling the last pancake on the stash.

''So, what are the plans for today?''

She sat down at the table again, shrugged. ''We are on holiday, I never make plans then. It should be sunny, we could swim in the lake if you like, or go to the nearby town.''

''Whatever you like.'' Matthew started eating the pancake. ''Do we need to shop for food?''

She shook her head, swallowed the pancake in her mouth; ''My parents brought us enough for the whole weekend.''

They both looked aside, over the lake, the sun reflected in the water.

''We could stay here today.'' She said. Matthew nodded, finished his breakfast.

''I am so full.'' He growled, leaning backward.

''I made you six.''

''I ate three, do you think I was starved the last few days?''

She stood up, putting the plate in the fridge while he cleaned the table. Matthew grabbed his laptop, to find a email from his mom. He started to type an answer, Gabriella laying her arms on his shoulder. ''You hadn't old her you were gone this weekend?''

''No, I didn't think she would come by the centre yesterday.''

''Haven't you told her about us?''

Matthew looked up to her. ''She was very upset with Hallie's dead. I figured it would be better to tell her later.'' Gabriella nodded. ''I understand. Am I going to meet her soon?''

''If you come to my housewarming party I am sure you will. That is next weekend.''

''Who are you going to invite?''

''You…and my mom…Severide…everybody else of station 51 who wants to come.''

''Sounds good.''

Gabriella walked to the bedroom while Matthew finally started to type about her, to tell his mom. But he deleted it, not knowing how to tell her. He tried again, sending it this time. Reading some news on the site of a Chicago newspaper, he hadn't even noticed Dawson standing behind the laptop, who suddenly pressed the screen down, shutting it.

''We are on holiday.'' She was in her bikini.

''I know, I was just reading some news.'' He wheeled backward.

''I will join you in a second. ''Matthew looked how she walked outside, laying her towel on the porch and walking into the water. He went to the bedroom and had to dig in the deepest corner of the suitcase to find his swimming shorts. Doubting for a second, but then he then he put them on and went outside. Dropping his towel and T-shirt next to hers on the porch. Wheeling down the ramp by the porch he wasn't sure how he could get in the water. After a few seconds Matthew lowered himself down in the sand, moving to the water with his arms, sitting in the water. Dawson waved at him on the other side of the water. He threw his sun glasses in the direction of his chair, moving to deeper water, which seemed to be a sudden ledge and swimming to her. After two minutes he had reached her.

''You swim really fast!'' He sat next to her in the undeep water, the wind rustling through the trees behind them.

''Part of my therapy. But I have to admit swimming always has been the only sport I was good at.''

''Beat me!'' She stood up, diving back in the deeper water, swimming back to the other side.

He didn't have to make much effort to swim next to her again. When he nearly passed her she splashed water in his face. ''Bad at loosing, he?'' He pulled her a little backwards by her feet, passed her and swam as hard as he could to the side, watching how she came sat down next to him a little later.

''Unfair to pull me backwards.''

''Unfair to splash water in my face.''

''That was fair. You were going to win anyway.''

''Well, then why so upset for losing?'' He chuckled, playfully splashing some water in her face.

''I want revenge later this afternoon.'' She said, splashing back.

''To lose again?'' He said, sticking his tongue out and moving out of the water. He lifted himself in his chair again, happy he already laid a towel on the cushions when he was dressing and went to the porch again. To be honest, it was nearly strange to be on the country side after he had been in the city for so long. The last few years he had been contracting, even in his holidays, not leaving the city except for a ride to Milwaukee sometimes.

Gabriella got also out of the water, walking inside and returning with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

''This is the good life.'' She sat next him on a chair, handing him a glass.

''I know, sometimes it is good to escape the city.''

''Especially with the chaos we are dealing with nearly every day.''

…..

Exhausted from the swimming all day long he watched the sun go down, laying on the lounge sofa on the porch, Gabriella reading a book, leaning against his chest.

''Wish we could stay here forever.'' She sighed after a long silence.

''Doing nothing probably would become boring after a while though.'' He admitted.

''True.''

Their phones shook at the same time. ''Oh their shift is over. Bet they are placing bets if I come back pregnant or not.'' Gabriella rolled her eyes.

''Would you ever want a baby?'' He asked, knowing it was dangerous territory. What if she didn't want any kids, just like Hallie?

''Yes, not now, but one day, yes.''

The sun was nearly under. Matthew took another sip of whine, looked at the last rays of light shining over the water.

''Let's get inside, before the mosquitoes find victims in us again.'' Gabriella said, standing up. Matthew didn't hesitate, thinking about the mosquitoes that had been bugging them after the sun went down yesterday. Inside it was pretty hot after the sun had been shinning on the glass all day long.

''We could watch a movie.'' He grabbed the laptop of the table.

''Sounds good.'' She walked to bedroom.

''My mom requests a picture.'' He mumbled, reading her email while entering the room.

''Your mom can request as much as she likes but it seems a little early to send a bikini picture.''

''You could put a shirt on. Or are you sleeping in bikini? Not that I mind but-''

She grabbed one of his CFD shirts from the bed he slept in and pulled it over her head; ''Yesterday evening you didn't seem to mind I wasn't wearing a shirt.'' She said playfully. She handed him one of his shirts as well, sitting on his lap. Quick they made a picture with the webcam and send it to her, cuddling up in bed afterwards, watching a movie.

…

''Shit! They even have fridge magnets, how very touristy!'' He laughed, holding the kitschy item in his hand. ''Shhh, everybody is watching you!'' Dawson said, looking at him over the shelf.

''They are either way. '' He said, laying the magnet back on the shelf and wheeling back to her.

''What were we going to get again?'' He said, looking through the small convenience store.

''You said you needed new sunglasses, after you lost the ones in the lake yesterday. I need lipstick.''

''Yeah, you are absolutely hideous without.'' He mumbled sarcastically while going to the shelf with sunglasses. ''This one?'' He said, turning back to Dawson, wearing a yellow and red pair of sunglasses. She rolled her eyes, shook her head and looked back at the make-up section. Secretly she was laughing, it was funny to see how Matthew became a whole lot funnier, just being out of the city and the whole chaos there. Usually he was the one calling for order when the men were being funny, now he was the one being funny. He laid the most decent pair he could find on the counter, waiting for Dawson.

''Not the yellow and red ones? I thought they were very sexy.'' She smiled at him, laying down a few other items.

''They are for kids.'' The woman behind the counter grumbled.

''Go back and get them, they are perfect for you then.'' She laughed. The woman stared at her with a blank face, not smiling for the smallest bit. The couple stopped laughing and laid the dollars on the counter, getting out as quick as they could.

''I still wanted a magnum.'' He said, looking up to her.

''So, I have to push you again?''

''Shit, you have seen through my evil plan. ''

They went back to the holiday park. Suddenly Matthew stopped.

''isn't that the candidate guy?'' He mumbled, pointing at a guy by the reception, who could be seen through the glass door.

''I don't think so.''

''I think he is.''

Dawson sighed; ''I am hungry. I want lunch.'' She started to push him towards the cabin, while he was still looking back to the reception.

…

''I think we should go back to the store tomorrow and buy the kiddy glasses. You know, just because of how the woman was looking at us.'' He said, his mouth still half full with sandwich. ''

''And then? It is not like you will ever wear them.''

Matthew shrugged. ''We could give them to Hermann, sure one of his kids could use them.''

''The woman was pissed off because you were behaving like an actual kid, yelling through the shop because of the fridge magnet.''

He chuckled. ''Come one, that was the most ugly thing you have ever seen, besides, I wanted to see if she even was alive. She had been staring at me since we entered.''

''Why do you care if other people stare at you? You were pointing at a random guy at the reception.''

''I swear it was the candidate Danny kid!''

She stood up, grabbing the empty plates; ''Oh yeah, and I am Santa Claus.''

''Oh yeah? Are you going to be my Santa this year?''

She just shook her head, laughing and walked inside. When she had washed them off and walked back outside he was already in the lake again. ''You know what we should have both, one of those noodle thingies.''

''Oh I remember Antonio and I both had one of those every summer we spend here while my parents were working.''

''My and Christie had one, for us both together and we used to nearly drown each other over who was allowed to use it. ''

''That is really nice, since Antonio and me had one both, we played star wars with them, but usually we hit each other instead of the noodles.''

Matthew chuckled. ''Not like it hurts or something.''

''Antonio could hit me pretty hard sometimes.'' She pointed at the scar on his collarbone; ''From what is that by the way.''

''I took a broom to the shoulder, thanks to Andy Darden.'' Before he would have to talk about Andy, he pushed of the side, swimming to the other side and back.

When he came back she already went inside. He kept sitting the water a little longer before going out, to find her missing in the cabin. A little irritated, he grabbed his phone, calling her, only to hear her ringtone from the dinner table. Putting on some clothes to check if she was at the reception he heard the front door and she came walking in. ''Here!'' He laughed when he saw the plastic back landing in front of him on the floor, the water noodle sticking out. When he looked inside there was also the sunglasses and a magnum.

''I am your Summer Santa.'' She smiled, walking to the kitchen.

''We are going to have dinner in the village tonight. I remembered we should have reservated this morning, so I walked to reception to ask if I could call there but they said I should ask in the restaurant, so I was in the village anyway.''

''Hmm, I think I like you more than the fat, male, bearded winter Santa.''

It wasn't just Dawson, the winter Santa reminded him of snow.

….

Full of the dinner, they laid down on the bed. Matthew went to bathroom, not sure if anything was going to happen tonight, but when he came back she was already asleep. As quiet as he could he slid under the sheets, wrapping his arm around her. Laying with his nose against her hair he smelt the familiar apple again. Her breathing was very calming and he closed his eyes. It had been humid all day, although the sun was shining and he wasn't surprised when he heard rain slamming against the window, as well as thunder, which still seemed far away. Yesterday night he had been awake for a long time, just listening to her breathing, not being able to sleep. Somehow, He was sure it was going to be another night like that. Somehow he had been sleeping bad ever since he was shot and that wasn't just because of the nightmares. The only times he had fallen asleep was totally exhausted. Although his arm muscles did feel exhausted after the swimming, he wasn't tired enough to sleep. Carefully he lifted his arm again, going out of bed, right before he could leave the bed Dawson grabbed his wrist; ''Where are you going?'' she mumbled, opening her eyes.

''To the kitchen, drink some water. Go back to sleep.''

She closed her eyes again. But instead of grabbing a glass of water he grabbed his laptop, reading the new email from his mom. He would answer the ''how-is-she-to-you, is-she-smart and when-will-the-first-grandchildren-be-coming-wink-w ink'' talk tomorrow. He went to facebook, just to close it again knowing most of the things the people posted didn't really interest him anyway. He was happy to see that Otis had uploaded a new podcast. He was listening for a few minutes when he felt Dawson's chin on his shoulder.

''Can't sleep?''

He pulled the earphones out. ''I think I can now, just got a little distracted by the message sign on my laptop. My mom thinks you are gorgeous and can't wait to see little brown eyed Casey's, just that you are prepared.'' She chuckled. ''She wants to be a grandma, eh?''

''Well, she is, but she has never seen Violet, except for photographs, so the last hope of ever holding a little Casey…that is me.'' She frowned. ''Don't worry, I don't want children in the upcoming three years!'' He added.

''Let's go back to bed.'' She smiled.

He was in the same situation again as a few minutes later he was laying in bed with her again, with her calm breathing and the raging storm in the back. The storm was asleep long before he finally was.

….

''Well, bye cabin.'' He pouted, shoving his bag in the car. The weekend had gone was too fast.

At the reception he brought back the keys, not having to pay anything as Dawson had taken care of that.

''Hope to see you here again.'' The man behind the counter said.

''I hope so…I was wondering; is there somebody here under the name Westerfield? He is a friend of mine and he said he was going away in this region this weekend as well, just wondering he stayed here as well.'' Come on, Matthew thought, I sound very trustworthy.

''Westerfield how?''

''Danny.''

''With an a or an e?''

''An a.'' He hoped he was right. The man looked in his computer.

''No, nobody here under that name.''

The door opened behind him, Gabriella.

''You coming?''

''Bye.'' He greeted again to man.

''Bye miss Dawson, bye sir.''

They went outside. ''He knows you are the daughter?''

She shrugged. ''He works here for a few years now and I come here with my parents sometimes.''

They went in the car.

''I really enjoyed the holiday.'' He mumbled, sighing they had to go back to the city. She sighed. ''me too. Maybe we can go again later this summer.'' He nodded. ''I hope.''

''But you have something to remember the holiday.'' Her hand went in her purse and she laid something with all colors of the rainbow on the dashboard. The fridge magnet.

''For your new apartment.''

….

NOTE: admit is, everybody had a water noodle once or played with it. Also, you tried to stand on the water with it. But failed. (Or was the only dumb kid who tried that?) I had one at home though . I never had one when we were on holiday though since we went to everywhere by airplane and you couldn't take a water noodle. Youth trauma ;)

Before it goes all sentimental, I hope you liked this chapter. It took me a whole lot of hours to write somehow.

Hope you are looking forward to the next one. Know that there doesn't happen so much in this chapter, just wanted to give them a nice holiday and a little bonding time. ALthough, their relationship might be fine, but Matthew still has some things to work out.

Hope I pleased the Dawson/Casey fans without getting kinky!

Anyway, the next chapter will be more action filled and involve the house warming party.

The story will be about 4-5 maybe 6 more chapters. Or do you think that is too long? Please be honest!

Please, please, please, please and another please; leave a review! It would mean so much to me and I really hope you can tell me if the characters are OOC. Please again!

X


	16. Chapter 16

Slowly Matthew made his way through the shop shelves, throwing bags of chips and bottles of drink in the shopping cart on his lap. Parties were a nice thing, just the shopping before a party always annoyed him. The supermarket was never a place he liked, usually Hallie had done the shopping when they still lived together and when he was living alone, he nearly ran through the shop, just grabbing the things he needed and if he forgot something, he simply would have to wait another week. Happy when he could shove bags with groceries in his car, he drove home, just to sort stuff out he had just gathered together. While putting the bottles on the fridge he immediately smiled when he saw the lonely fridge magnet, holding up a paper with the times of his shifts. His shifts in the office of the firehouse. The job was not nearly was exited as being a firefighter and he had spent half of his first day playing with a pen and looking out of the window. The report he had to write and he was allowed to spent a whole day on was finished within two hours. But being in and around the firehouse made him feel happy. Also, Dawson thought that the uniform with the blouse and tie was very sexy. The others had just been joking how classy he finally looked. The frontdoor opened and he looked at the clock, seeing Dawson's shift was over and she walked up to him, looking around.

''Could you find it?'' He said, kissing her on the cheek.

''Tomie could. Plus it is still pretty close.'' She smiled when laying down the Tom Tom on the kitchen table, afraid that it would get stolen if she left it in her car. She walked to the living room, looking through the wide, light room. It was very simple and modern, yet still cozy.

''So, we can also watch games on your place now.'' She said, pointing at the big sofa.

''Oh yeah, but we could also go see Chicago Fire or the Blackhawks live. At least for once.''

''Definitely the Blackhawks. '' She laughed. ''I want to see grown man smashing into each other instead of guys running after a ball, just to kick it away again when they finally got it.''

''Woman.'' He sighed while rolling her eyes.

''I brought you this, for tonight.'' She grabbed a plastic bag from her handbag, showing him the colored garlands. ''What is a party without them?''

''You have to get them in place, I will make us dinner.'' He said, moving back to the kitchen, as Dawson grabbing a dinner chair to stand on while arranging the garlands.

He laughed going back to the living room, every corner of the room dressed up as if it was his tenth birthday.

...

''My god, Matt, you even have an extra room, for a small Dawson!'' Shay yelled when he had opened the door to the room that just acted for the boxes that he hadn't unpacked yet and he probably never was going to. Stuff from Hallie, as well as firefighter stuff. It would probably just end up on a shelf in one of the closets in the wall.

''The world will be doomed if it gets a kid with her mouth and his stubbornness.'' Severide chuckled.

''I am still here.'' Matthew sighed. He had separated with Hallie before their last coming back together because he wanted a baby and she didn't, but now he wasn't even sure anymore if he ever wanted to have a baby, or if he was able to. Dawson joined them again.

''When is this room going to be filled?'' Shay mumbled to Dawson, swaying with her finger in the doorway.''

''You are first in line.'' Dawson just smiled, the four of them going back to the kitchen. After a few minutes there was another knock on the door and his mom entered, with Vaughn.

''I am Nancy, nice meeting you!'' She nearly jumped Gabriela. Gabriela hugged her back, a little awkward. ''Yes, it is very nice to finally meet you too.'' She could just mumble, nearly getting crushed by Nancy Casey's hug.

''Very nice apartment. It seemed so old from the outside.'' Vaughn said in his very low voice to Matthew, whom just nodded. ''It is a renovated warehouse.'' he said after a few seconds, trying not to sound rude, as it was very obvious.

''Mattie, it is so pretty.'' His mom kissed him on his temple and in the corner of his eyes he could see Shay and Severide holding their hands in front of their mouth, the tears nearly streaming out of their eyes. When his mom and Vaughn walked to the kitchen to get something to drink they rolled of the couch, laughing uncontrollably. ''Mattie, oooh Mattie.'' they laughed and even Gabriela was leaning against the wall, laughing. They tried to contain themselves again when his mom walked back in and Matthew had to leave again for the door, letting most of the other guys of firehouse 51 in. Hermann handed him a bottle of wine, while Otis and Cruz were carrying a giant plant: ''No housewarming without a plant.'' Otis panted. With loads of effort they managed to lift it on the cooking island. Mouch greeted him as well. Matthew thanked them, just to be surprised again by Boden, whom was bringing another plant; ''I have to leave again, just want to wish a lot of luck in this house.''

If it carried on like this, he wouldn't have to worry about holiday, his house would be a jungle. Antonio walked in as well, greeting him and walking up to Dawson, talking with her. Before he could close the door again he could so Mill approaching, as well as the candidate behind him. The candidate greeted him first, walking towards the rest while Mills kept standing.

''Hey, I know I haven't been very respectful to you the last few weeks, ignoring you and talking shit about you. I just want to say I am sorry and I hope you will be happy here, with Dawson. Treat her right, okay?''

''Thank you, Mills.'' He smiled. Mills had been very distant and rude to him.

''You said the same words to me on the dinner. Now it is your turn to treat her right. I really hope you find all the happiness in the world.'' Mills smiled, walking to the living room.

He had joined the group in the living for just a few more minutes when he had to go to the door again, no idea who else he could still expect. He was surprised when he opened the door and found Tamara standing there. ''So, welcome to Rome.'' She smiled at him.

''Thank you. Do you want to come in?''

She shook her head. ''My husband is waiting for me to get home. I just wanted to congratulate you on the new house, you should be proud that you are already living on your own again. I told you that it would all work out.''

Matthew smiled as she handed him a bunch of flowers. ''The Orange tree flower?''

She nodded. ''They are from Italy.''

''Thank you, Tamara, for everything.''

''You are welcome. I am glad you are happy again, including a girl.''

She greeted him and walked back over the hall way.

Nobody came by the door again and he joined the party in the living room. His mom, Antonio and Gabriela were talking, the firehouse had grouped up, except Hermann, who was talking with Vaughn. He joined the firehouse group.

''If it isn't the desk.''

''I am not a desk, you are just jealous I get to sit all day long at work. Especially you Mouch, I know you are jealous.'' He joked.

''Mattie!'' Everybody from the firehouse immediately moved their bottles and glasses to their mouth, trying to cover up their laughs. Shay jumped up; ''Bathroom break!'' He could still see her laughing when she walked away.

''We are going home, your girl is so nice! Look after yourself. See you soon again.'' She kissed him on the forehead.

When she and Vaughn walked away, Otis bursted lose. ''Mattie!''

''How did you mom call you? Bri bri?''

The rest of the guys laughed and he was smiling, rubbing his sleeve over his forehead. ''I think it is sweet that your mom still worries to much about you.'' Danny mumbled, looking to the floor. Somehow he was wondering now how the guys would have reacted if they knew what his mom did. But he was glad he and his mom were getting along again and she could be here, to share this moment with him and to meet Dawson.

''I should get home soon as well. Cindy is waiting.'' Hermann mumbled, pointing at Cruz and Mouch, they followed him; ''He is our taxi. Thanks for the party!''

Otis and Severide talked about Molly's while Shay joined Dawson and for a second he fled to the kitchen, to have some peace at mind. He looked at all the gifts people left for him on the cooking island and he felt warm inside that so many people cared about him and were here tonight. Looking around he also realized that Antonio had already left.

''Is something wrong?'' Dawson looked at him, worried.

''No, I was just grabbing something to drink.'' He mumbled, opening the fridge.

Suddenly she wrapped her arms around him; ''When everybody is gone, we have to try the new bed.''

''Hmmm. I thought you were sleeping on the couch tonight.'' He smiled.

Otis walked past them; ''Thanks for the party Matt.''

Going back into the living room, only Kelly and Shay were still talking with Danny. They joined them again. After Shay and Kelly had finished their drinks they were also leaving, Danny as the only one staying behind, somehow Casey felt a little uncomfortable around the young candidate. There was something off about him, but he still couldn't place it.

''So, do you miss being a firefighter?'' Danny asked, facing Matthew.

''I am still a part of the firehouse.'' Matthew just answered. ''Let's talk about something else, okay?'' he added, not wanting to talk about it.

''Are you angry at the boys who shot you?'' Danny persuaded anyway.

''That is in the past.'' He mumbled, looking to the floor.

''Danny, it was nice having you here.'' Dawson said, signing him to go away.

Danny was finishing his last beer and slowly he stood up, walking towards the front door. Gabriela pulled Matthew's jacket. ''I am sure, he is the one.''

''Bye, thanks for everything.'' Danny waved one last time at the door.

''Wait a second.'' Danny stopped, looking back at him.

''What is it Matt?''

''Why where you following and scaring my girl and me?''

Danny made a confused face; ''How do you mean?''

''For one thing, why did you follow us on our holiday?''

''I never followed you to Lakemore''

Casey frowned. ''Funny, I never mentioned where we were going, how did you know?''

''It was on your fridge.''

''Wrong. I removed the magnet because I was afraid somebody would break it tonight. How would you know I had a magnet on my fridge, except if you saw me getting the magnet.''

Danny slowly started to walk to the door. Casey followed him and knocked him on the floor in the hallway, also dropping himself to the ground. ''Why were you following me and my girlfriend?'' He yelled, looking the young boy deep in the eyes, pushing him against the floor.

''I didn't!'' Danny yelled, trying to push Casey away.

''You did, why did you? Did you want to scare me?''

Danny's arm got free and he tried to push Casey's head to the side.

''My foster brother is in prison because of you!'' He suddenly said, managing to push Casey off him. Casey fell to the side, hitting his head against the wall. Danny walked away, to the elevator.

...

NOTE: Sorry for the late update, took me some time to figure out how to continue the story. I am still not completely happy with it, but okay.

Hope you like it anyway. Please leave a review what you think!

Thanks for reading!

x


	17. Chapter 17

''It is okay!'' Matthew wanted to slam her hand away, annoyed by everything right now.

''You are bleeding, Matt. Just keep your head still.'' Gabriela carefully wiped the blood from the small wound by his eyebrow, where his head had hit the rough painted wall.

''I did the same to you, remember?'' Gabriela just nodded, picking up a small plaster and put in on the wound.

''I never trusted that guy.'' Matthew grumbled, thinking about Danny. That wasn't true, but right not he was so fed up with everything happening lately that he was just pissed off.

''Let's just go to bed, okay. We can talk about it tomorrow.''

Matthew wheeled to the bed, waiting for Gabriela to join him.

''I just don't understand, why would he go after us?'' Gabriela mumbled from the bathroom, not really hearable as she was brushing her teeth.

''I don't know.'' He just sighed back. ''Should we go to the police?''

''Antonio will probably bash his skull before he even knows he is arrested.'' She said, honest before laying down next to Matt.

''Come on, we were together in your new apartment. Let's just enjoy the moment for now.'' She smiled, her head on his chest, her finger caressing over his cheek. Of course, she was worried as well, but for now she just wanted him so sleep, because he seemed so tired. After a few minutes he slept and slowly she got out of bed, looking at the mess in the living room, walking to the kitchen.

For a second she doubted with her phone in her hands. Then she dialed her brothers phone number.

''Gab, what?'' He said, very short, sounding sleepy.

''I need your help.'' She leaned against the counter, looking up.

''What is wrong?'' Antonio sat finally, as he apparently left the bed

''Gabe?'' Matt sounded from the bedroom and she heard she sheets rustling, like he was leaving the bed.

''Please, come see me tomorrow at house 51.'' She hung up, walking back to bedroom.

''Nothing, just got a call from Antonio that he liked the housewarming. He sounded pretty drunk.'' She lied and she snuggled up with him again.

''We are going to be fine.'' Matt mumbled, half asleep.

She knew, they weren't alone in this.

...

Matthew could hardly concentrate at the job, ticking with his pen on his desk, afraid now Dawson was in the same firehouse as Danny was right now. He loosened his tie a little bit, looking outside.

''Are you okay?'' His co-worker Tim looked at him from his desk.

''Yeah, I am fine. It is hot in here.'' He lied.

Tim nodded, slowly stood up and left the office.

Casey stirred through his coffee, looking around the office again. On the computer in front him a rapport still needed to be written.

Suddenly an arm grabbed him from behind, under his throat.

''Don't scream, or you will have a problem.'' The arm let him go and Matt turned his wheelchair, Danny standing behind him, his forehead full of sweat and his face in a rage.

Before Matt could even say something a fist hit him in the face and surprised he looked up.

''Did you call the police? The police is here.'' Danny said, his voice hastily and his breath heavily.

''I didn't.'' Matt raised his arms, hoping Tim would come in soon, because Danny seemed to be ready to freak out even more and he felt blood on his chin, streaming from his lip.

''Let's just talk about this.'' Matt slowly said, raising his arms up even more. ''Where is Gabriela?''

''She and the blonde got called away.'' Danny came up closer and Matt saw the moment to grab him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him down and his head closer.

''Why did you do this? I just need to know that.'' Matt said, mad to Danny, grabbing him by his collar.

''Calm down'' Matt grabbed him a little tighter;

''No, you better tell me now, why did you follow me and my girlfriend!'' He was nearly yelling now, wanted to hit Danny.

''What is wrong with you?''

''No, what is wrong with you?'' Matt was yelling now.

''Calm down, I never hurt her.''

''You scared her and you don't scare my girlfriend!'' Matt was so angry right now he was afraid he was going to explode.

''You send my foster brother to prison!''

Matt let him go; ''Your foster brother put me in this chair.''

For a second, there was a big tension in the room before the door busted open.

''Danny Westerfield, you stand under arrest for stalking and assault.''

Antonio and some other cops came in, arrested Danny and Dawson entered short after.

''Matt?'' Worried she looked at the blood.

''It is nothing, just my lip.'' He said, Dawson laid her arms around him.

''He could have beat you up!'' She squatted and looked at him, worried.

''I would have beat him up.'' Casey said firmly and he wiped the blood away with his sleeve, knowing he had to wash the uniform tonight.

''We are safe now, nobody is going to hurt us anymore.''

''Nobody is ever going to hurt you.'' He said then, kissing her on her cheek.

...

NOTE: It is alive! The last update was 1,5 months ago. I feel ashamed, sorry!

Also, it is a little short. Okay, it is very short. Hope you liked this chapter though and the next chapter will probably be the last chapter - it won't take so long to update though, I promise!

Thanks for reading, please leave a review!


	18. Chapter 18

**5 years later**

''Come on, we have to go soon.'' Gabriela walked through the hallway followed by their daughter, while Matt was still looking in the mirror, checking his hair.

''You look amazing, come on, we really have to go.''

''Grandma said I could watch you on the television.'' Anna smiled at him.

''That is right, do I look pretty enough for TV?'' Matthew bow forward, tickling his daughter.

''We have to go!'' Gabriela yelled again from the hallway and Matt helped Anna with her jacket.

After they drove off and left Anna with Matt's mom and Vaughn, they drove to the WGN studio.

''Are you nervous?'' Gabriela looked aside to him while he kept his eyes on the road.

''A little bit.'' Matt shrugged. He knew that everybody of firehouse 51 would be watching, that his family was watching, Gabriela's family and he was over thinking if he really wanted to do this.

But he had said yes, he needed to now, there was no way back.

Parking on the car near the studios, getting out of the car.

Matthew had seen the gang members now they got out of prison, they were walking around the neighborhood again, but had never bothered him. It even seemed that they didn't dare to look at him. The only gang member that had talked to him was the boy who ratted the others out. But he talked to him before the others got out and it was a long time ago. Somehow, he was glad the boy got out earlier, he betrayed his friends and he had to leave Chicago before the other got out, since they threatened him.

He had never seen Danny Westerfield again.

Going into the studios with Gabriela he looked up to her;

''I am nervous now.'' More than just a little bit, but he was so surprised he was even asked for an interview he couldn't say no.

''Wait up!'' Severide came running towards them and joined them.

''What are you doing here?'' Matt said, surprised.

''Gotta look how live how you are going to screw up.'' Severide joked and Matthew laughed nervous.

''Don't worry, you are going to do fine.'' Severide said then and they went inside.

''Text from your mom.'' Gabriela held the phone in front of his face as they were waiting for him being called, Severide also standing beside him.

''Text her the channel back please.''

They looked at the small screen on the wall, were the talk show was already going on. Matthew looked at the host as he was talking to one of the people from a charity and he felt more and more nervous. - he was going to be there in a few minutes.

There was knock on the door; ''Mr. Casey? You have to be ready in a few minutes.''

''I will walk with you.'' Severide said and slowly he walked with Matthew to the studio, Gabriela sitting down in front of the small screen.

''Why are you walking with me?'' Matthew frowned.

''Promised you that you never would be alone in this. You seem really nervous.''

''I am.'' Matthew sighed as the they reached the part of the studio were they had to wait for his queue. Severide kneeled down so they were on eye level.

''Don't be nervous for this interview, you are going to be fine. Look were you got in five years, this interview is nothing. Plus, people should know the truth about what happened. If it wasn't for you, chief Boden wouldn't still be chief right now. ''

Matthew nodded, smiled.

''Thank you.''

''For what?'' Severide asked.

''For being such a great friend since all of this happened.''

The two smiled at each other, then Severide got up and walked back to the room where Gabriela was waiting as a girl with a headset came up to him and started counting down.

''Please welcome Matthew Casey.'' Loud clapping started and Matthew knew his cheeks were getting more red with every movement closer to the table the hosts were sitting at.

He could just manage to say a soft ''Thank you.'' and he was shocked to hear his microphone working and he looked at the public, looking back at him.

''How are you feeling?'' The host asked him and he looked back to the host;

''I am fine, thank you.''

So many people were watching him right now. For a moment he became even more nervous, then he suddenly became calm and determined. He had been running into burning buildings, saved people and he had never been nervous when he did those things.

''Yes, that is right. I was shot 5 years ago when I passed the Fire House 51 at night.'' He answered the host.

''That was the Fire House you were working?''

''That is right, I still work there but in the office now.'' Casey nodded.

''Are you mad the boys?''

Matt shook his head; ''I have come to terms with it. After some time you have to leave it behind, I have other things to focus on now.''

He had a lot of things to focus on right now. His daughter, Gabriela, his work and the weekends out at Molly's.

''Don't you hate the gang that you are around the Fire house now without being a firefighter.''

Matthew shook his head.

''Once a firefighter, always a firefighter. I wouldn't be here without Fire House 51, the people aren't just working there, we are a family.''

...

NOTE: The story finally has an ending ! I am really sorry it took so long and ended so short.

I am sorry the story became so lame near the end, when I started this story with the idea I could handle it, as it is based on somebody I used to know. After all, it got too much under my skin. I still have thoughts about a SQ, but I think that would become really AU. If you are interested, you can always say and I might think about it again!

Right now, i am working on a new CF story - I learned my lesson that I should first write the WHOLE storyline down before starting - for which I am also looking for Beta.

I still hope you enjoyed the last chapter and thank you very much for reading the whole story!


End file.
